Hey Everyone~
It's been one week since we didn't pass court. This has been a LONG week, let me tell you! I want to say, in public, that I could not have done this week without Sherry Semlow, my dear Sister whose sweet kiddos are also from E*** like Micah David. She is a wonderful counselor, friend, and companion on this journey. I am almost as excited to see her meet her 3 lovlies as I am to meet Micah David!
We received new photos of Micah David yesterday. He is SO FAT!!! His Buddha belly rivals that of Devon, which is saying a LOT as we named Devon BB when he was a baby! He has sweet little arm rolls and chubby cheeks. He's sitting up in the Bumbo seat quite well in the photos, which is nice to see. Before he was slumped over and looking a bit disheveled. We fall in love again with each new photo.
I have come to realize this past week that adoption is never what we think it will be. With Devon's adoption, we actually lost a child 2 months prior to his birth. We didn't believe that he would be ours until the car ride home from the agency when he was 3 days old. I remember all three of us, Mom, me, and Chad, BAWLING at the fact that we were finally parents. The process was grueling and very disappointing at times, but ultimately SO REWARDING.
This process has been SO MUCH HARDER than we ever expected. So much longer, so much more pain, so much more heartache...I said to Lisa Supplee and (that) Shannan Fodale (who gave me TRUTH that will always ring in my ears and heart, TRUTH that I have passed on!)
IF I HAD KNOWN... I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THIS. I immediately felt guilt and shame for saying this, but this is how my heart feels lately.
When I got home, it occurred to me that the baby whose birth we are celebrating this month KNEW what He was being born for. He KNEW the pain He would suffer, He KNEW the heartache, He KNEW the trials, He KNEW the ultimate cost of his time here on earth. JESUS KNEW AND HE STILL DID... What an amazing truth to encourage those of us who are weary and heavy laden.
We are clinging to HIM and to His promises still.
Kim
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2 comments:
Good words, Kim.
Someone once told me that "faith" is just saying "Yes" to God. Christ was the ultimate example of this in that he said "Yes" to the whole of God's plan, even while expressing his own contrary desires ("Not my will, but Yours be done.") O, that such faith would live in us!
how true! praying you will have your micah home soon.
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