As you can imagine, I didn't sleep well last night and don't expect to tonight either! This long journey has come to it's final large hurdle (there are other small hurdles still to come), the court date. If Micah David passes court, he is officially our son tomorrow.
Our SON. We have called him that for months but have always known, in the back of our minds, that he was not ours YET. It's amazing what a piece of paper can mean in the life of a child!
Last week I cried much for our son in Ethiopia who has spent 5 months without a mother, a father, a forever family. He has been wonderfully cared for but has not experienced the love of a mother and father since he was relinquished, hungry and small, at such a young age. If we do not pass court tomorrow, Micah David will remain in the transitional home and miss his first Christmas with is forever family. He will continue to be well cared for but will go 8 months without a mother. This thought, if I dwell on it, can bring me to despair.
Last weekend my good friend Krina's cousin was shot in Mumbai by a fundamentalist Pakistani simply for being Indian. He survived but will forever be haunted by the vision of a gunman bent on death, forever reminded by the scars on his body.
I want to scream at our God, "Why is life so hard in this world, especially for those who cannot fight for and defend themselves?"
I was reading John Piper's blog this morning, as I often do, and read the following entry. It's a reminder of the call to be salt and light as well as the importance of pushing forward even in the midst of sorrow, tragedy, and injustice.
"From one day to the next the news changes. Some hits home so close it makes you sick. Some is global and makes the heart tremble. But we press on in the work we are given to do.
How can we do this? One way is to know that we are “greatly loved.” Three times an angel tells Daniel he is “greatly loved.”
- "You are greatly loved.” (9:23)
- “O Daniel, man greatly loved.” (10:11)
- "O man greatly loved, fear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage.” (10:19)
Everyone who believes in Christ experiences the same:
“But God...because of the great love with which he loved us...made us alive together with Christ.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)
You are loved with “great love”—omnipotent love, omniscient love, unstoppable love, eternal love. Therefore, do not fear. Be appalled at the world, and be productive in it."
When I get scared that our court date might not be successful or that my son might remain without a family for so much longer, I try to remind myself of how deeply loved I am, with a "great love" that will prevail. The story has been written and the ending is secure. As a character, it is my job to remain in the story line, faithful and trusting in this LOVE that is rooted in grace.