A New Year, A New Face, A New Heart

Tomorrow is a new year, a new set of days. But, to us, it is yet another day without Micah David.

It has been a wonderfully difficult year full of unexpected joys, sorrows, and a challenge that has yet to be overcome. At times we feel this year was unsuccessful as we have not held our youngest son yet. But, to our God, this year was all within His plan, including the fact that our Micah remains in the arms of his nannies, not in the arms of his parents and big brother.

When it comes to Micah David, our hearts have learned to hope upon hope upon hope upon...well, you get the idea. We have decided that we need new hearts for this new year. We need hearts that are firmly set upon not what WE have planned for ourselves and our family, but what HE has planned for us. Hearts that desire not to use but to BE USED.

I can't express what we feel nearly as well as a dear adoption/bloggy heart, Kristin Lunceford did in her Christmas letter.

"The momentum of hope that began our year and that continues to wake us each morning is the same momentum that will push us toward a new year, a new child, and a new perspective on what it means to be used by a God who has so very much for us to do. Though closure eludes us on the adoption front and the world is still holding onto one orphan too many, our posture remains expectant as we are made more faithful in the waiting and certainly in the hoping."

Still in the hoping business. Happy New Year.

Kim, Chad, Devon, and soon...Micah David

SO CRAZY!!!

If you heard all of the stories of delays, mix-ups, etc. that go along with adoption, you'd STILL think this one was wild!

So, today my dear friends Bethany and Holly were to have court dates for their kiddos in ET. However, last night the MOWA representative that was to sign off on their adoptions in court today was ARRESTED. That's right, friends, he was arrested and so (funny enough) did not show up for court. This means their cases were not heard.

Bethany Taylor was rescheduled, by some miracle, for Friday.

Holly Sapp, however, was rescheduled for January 16th, two weeks and a few days from today. If we all pass, this would put us in the same travel group. I am so sad for the delay but so ELATED that we might get to travel together. I really love her and her sweet daughter is beyond beautiful. The thought of being THERE when they are united gives me goose bumps!

Sometimes it's tempting to doubt God's sovereign control over this crazy, unexpected, unfair world. Each time I do that, however, I give a little of my faith away, something my sons and heart cannot afford.

So, today I am choosing to remember the God of Daniel and the Lions den. Surely if our God can shut a lion's mouth, He can preside over some paperwork in Ethiopia.

A Blur of Tears and Blessing

Hey~
Today marks four weeks since we failed court and were not able to travel to bring Micah David home. As the title intimates, its been a blur for us. We have shed many tears, screamed many "whys" and begged for answers. We have also found smiles, joys, and blessings in this hardship.

Today, it has become so clear to us this journey is not as we expected it, it has become so much more.

We began this journey with desires centering on us, our family, our desires, our dreams. We have come to a place of "otherness" where our desires center others, on Micah David, on the older children at the transitional home, on our dear brothers and sisters who are also waiting on their children.

We thank God each day for the gift of adoption, for the joys and, yes, for the sorrows that it has brought into our lives. Never have I felt so many ups and downs. And yet, never have I felt so surrounded by the love of God and others. Our hearts are so strongly united to those we have not and may never meet in person but who understand the unique blessing and calling that this journey is.

Thank you to all my dear friends who have taught me what faith, friendship, and hope mean. Sherry, Becky, Holly, Bethany, Patty, Kari, and so many others who have made this experience so much more.

To My Micah

Sweet baby man,

How can I begin to tell you what you have meant in my life over the past years. You begun as a whisper in my heart that grew louder and louder. " I felt God tugging me towards you, not knowing who you were but that you WERE.

This has been the longest, most exhausting journey of my life. I am at times overjoyed, at times broken at the empty space in my arms, the lack in my home, the longing in my soul for you. Do you dream of me the way I dream of you? Do you hear my voice in every breath the way I hear yours? 

This December has been so long, so loud because of the silence. The voices that fill this house are lacking in one, a silent child who fills each corner and yet none. Our heavenly Father sees all of your smiles, takes snapshots in HIS book. I cannot wipe your tears, but your Great Daddy places each in His bottle. 

Micah, I have shed my skin for you, the skin of pride and faithlessnes, the skin of sorrow for a skin of hope. I am becomming a new heart, full of faith and a willingness to follow a God who has led me down a winding and beautiful path. Each night, I raise my hands and plead for you, not just for you to come home, but for your spirit to LONG for us as we long for you. For your hear to long for your Lord as our hearts do. 

The blessings, my dear son, are in the pain. The joy, sweet angel, is in the sorrow. That we will see your life SAVED in true, physical form is more than a blessing. This is the hope we all long for and dream of, our lives saved by His grace. A God who tied a string to the heart of a mother in Pennsylvania to the heart of a starving child in Ethiopia. This cord will never snap, dear son, for it has been knotted by God with a bow of everlasting love.

You are a miracle child and you have changed us all.  

Court Tomorrow for 3 Families

Hey All~
The following families have court over the next few days. I long to be with them but know it's not our time yet.

The Sapp Family
The Taylor Family
The Violette Family

Please PRAY EARNESTLY for these families to pass court so that they can travel to pick up their kiddos. They are all adopting older children, children who have been waiting for Mommy and Daddy for a long time.

I love you three!
Kim

Photos, News, I HEART THE BURKS!!!

My wonderful friends, Becky and Michael Burk returned from ET yesterday and have SO MANY pictures of Micah. Honestly, I bet there are at least 50 photos of Micah! We are so blessed to have them as friends and for them to have held and kissed our son in Ethiopia. 

Micah David looks perfect. He's filling out and looking too cute with very curly clown hair. He's even wearing the outfit we sent in his first care package in a few of the photos and boy does he look great in blue!

There are a few pictures of Micah and their son Ezra, too cute! They are going to be best buds, I'm sure of it. In one photo Michael is holding both babies, looking quite comfortable with two. He really loved Micah and held him for much of the day. Thanks Michael! 

The best photos are of Becky and Micah outside where Micah is just smiling away. She took him out of the house, where its dark and kids and nannies are everywhere to get some alone time with him. He opened up and just became the happiest, most responsive little guy. 

Thanks girlie! I adore you!

Kim

Merry Christmas from the Kulp House

Enjoy! Excuse the bottom half, the kid really hates wearing pants! Devon called his daddy (in the same room, hense the echo) and sang him a Christmas Carol. Merry Christmas! We love you!