God has stretched my heart today and challenged me to share with you all what I have learned in the waiting BEFORE I learn the outcome. He opened my heart with Zephaniah 3:17-20.
Adoption = waiting! We've been waiting for over 2 years as have the Semlows. It's enough to drive you crazy.
All along I believed I was waiting for our blessing, our child and that, if I could just hold out, the blessing would come and erase all of the "pain" of the waiting. I have waited well and waited horribly at different times in this process, circumstances often dictating my
attitude. Lately, that hasn't been an option. NOTHING, that we can see, has gone well since our first court date. There's little, that we can see, to put our hope in.
We feel prisoners of this wait as our children are prisoners of a political battle in Ethiopia.
What has God stretched me to see- the WAITING IS THE BLESSING, the miracle is right here, not in ET. The miracle is HIS LOVE FOR ME.
If we walk away from this adoption empty handed, oh how devastated we will be. But we will NOT walk away empty-hearted.
My Father has gently rocked me throughout this entire journey. At times I kicked and screamed, others I softly wept and begged, and rarely, gently rested on his breast. But I was ALWAYS in His arms.
Are you waiting for blessing? For revelation? For peace? You are waiting IN HIS ARMS. There's nothing you will face, even losing your child, that He will not rock you through.
Our God is mighty to save, we say this often in reference to adoption. In the waiting I have realized our God is mighty to save US, you and I, in and during and through this waiting.
He is rejoicing over us with singing when we quietly sink into His chest, releasing our dreams and expectations and accepting His arms as what we TRULY NEED.
Can you feel your Jesus rocking you this morning? Can you hear him singing "I love you, this you know for my word tells you so?"
No matter what may come today, my Jesus is singing in my ear and gently rocking this broken child. What a miracle!
Kim
Monday, February 23, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
URGENT PRAYER NEEDED
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
"Let them know that it is YOUR HAND, that you, O Lord, have done it." Psalm 109:27
We have reached what we believe is the culmination of the journey of the four miracle children from Awa@@, Micah David Kulp, Isaiah, Josiah and Lydia Semlow. Indeed, Monday our children will be released or they will not. I cannot begin to tell you how heavy yet excited our hearts feel.
WE NEED 1 SIGNATURE TO MOVE FORWARD AND THAT SIGNATURE WILL BE OBTAINED OR DENIED ON MONDAY.
The story is long and the details are muddy but what we know is that there will be a meeting on Monday with the local officials in the town where Micah's orphanage is located who can deny or approve our adoption. If the paperwork is signed, our representative will petition on Tuesday for a court date.
If the paperwork is NOT SIGNED, our four along with ALL of the children in Infan*** orphanage will remain in Africa until a new federal license for Infan*** can be obtained. This is a process that can take years.
This is a political battle. Feathers are ruffled on the local end because of the federal denial of our recommendation letter.
PLEASE PRAY!!!!!!!!!
OUR GOD INDEED REIGNS and is in complete control of this meeting. We are confident that He has purposed this for our families and will be glorified no matter the outcome.
We love you and know you will be on your knees with us. Thank you so much for walking this with us.
Kim and Chad Kulp
"Let them know that it is YOUR HAND, that you, O Lord, have done it." Psalm 109:27
We have reached what we believe is the culmination of the journey of the four miracle children from Awa@@, Micah David Kulp, Isaiah, Josiah and Lydia Semlow. Indeed, Monday our children will be released or they will not. I cannot begin to tell you how heavy yet excited our hearts feel.
WE NEED 1 SIGNATURE TO MOVE FORWARD AND THAT SIGNATURE WILL BE OBTAINED OR DENIED ON MONDAY.
The story is long and the details are muddy but what we know is that there will be a meeting on Monday with the local officials in the town where Micah's orphanage is located who can deny or approve our adoption. If the paperwork is signed, our representative will petition on Tuesday for a court date.
If the paperwork is NOT SIGNED, our four along with ALL of the children in Infan*** orphanage will remain in Africa until a new federal license for Infan*** can be obtained. This is a process that can take years.
This is a political battle. Feathers are ruffled on the local end because of the federal denial of our recommendation letter.
PLEASE PRAY!!!!!!!!!
- Pray that the heart of this ONE MAN who must sign our papers will be BROKEN FOR OUR CHILDREN and that he will be led to release them into our hands.
- Pray that the right words would be given to those who must speak with him and change his mind.
- Pray for our hearts this weekend. It's going to be a long 3 days as we are tempted to worry and fear.
- Pray for justice for these children and for our CHILDREN TO COME HOME.
OUR GOD INDEED REIGNS and is in complete control of this meeting. We are confident that He has purposed this for our families and will be glorified no matter the outcome.
We love you and know you will be on your knees with us. Thank you so much for walking this with us.
Kim and Chad Kulp
Monday, February 16, 2009
Afraid of the dark
If I had to paint a picture of this wait, the canvas would be pitch black with tiny specks of gray peering through the darkness. Even those days that are not completely dark are clouded with gray sadness.
Why do we keep going?
"If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." Psalm 139
My FATHER sees in the dark.
Though I am afraid of what is happening to my life, my dreams, my son at this moment, my FATHER has provided a nightlight- His kind and loving word.
I would be lying if I said I always turn it on, I don't. I often sit alone in the dark, crying. But I know it's there, I know HE'S THERE, crying with me.
So, we press on in the dark, believing that one day the light will shine upon us as we gaze into the eyes of our Micah David.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galations 6:9
Why do we keep going?
"If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." Psalm 139
My FATHER sees in the dark.
Though I am afraid of what is happening to my life, my dreams, my son at this moment, my FATHER has provided a nightlight- His kind and loving word.
I would be lying if I said I always turn it on, I don't. I often sit alone in the dark, crying. But I know it's there, I know HE'S THERE, crying with me.
So, we press on in the dark, believing that one day the light will shine upon us as we gaze into the eyes of our Micah David.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galations 6:9
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Everyday is Groundhog's Day
My friend Sherry and I have been saying this for weeks. Everyday is Groundhog's day for us. She put it perfectly on her blog and, since we're feeling the same thing, I don't mind stealing one bit!
Everyday...
Everyday...
- I wake up realizing that only 1 of my 2 children will be home again today.
- I pray the same prayers asking/begging God to bring our Micah home.
- I read the same scriptures that I have been clinging to for months.
- I have the same conversations with friends - "No, no updates."
- I have the same conversations with acquaintances - "No he's not home yet."
- I have the same conversations with my family - "I don't know if we can plan that next month, because I don't know when we'll be traveling to Ethiopia."
- I have the same conversations with my friend SHERRY - "We can't do this anymore - we CAN do this; Maybe the judge will have favor - maybe we'll never get them home; we miss them so much, we miss them so much."
- I hear the same things from my adoption agency - "Things are looking good... we are hopeful for tomorrow... well maybe next week...."
- I read the same threads on our adoption Yahoo Group - people paper chasing; people waiting; people receiving referrals; people waiting; people passing court; people waiting; people traveling to bring their children home; people waiting.
- I have the same battles in mind struggling to take every thought captive and cling to what I know about WHO God is despite my wondering of WHAT God is doing.
- I feel the same pain in my heart when I look at Micah's pictures and wonder how in the world I can be SO in love with a child I have never met. Add in Sherry's three and my heart is really in the wrong place!
- I claim the same truths - God is good; God is faithful; God is loving.
- I cry the same tears that don't solve anything.
- I go to bed weary again hoping that tomorrow will be different
- I still choose to BELIEVE .
- I wake up and realize it's still Groundhog's Day.
I am praying that one of these days I will get to celebrate the DAY AFTER GROUND HOGS DAY"
- I wake up and realize I am in the wrong place because, if home is where the heart is, my home is in Ethiopia with the baby who should have been home in December, who should be in my arms, who has my heart.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The Way...
"When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you know know my way."
Our spirits are very faint but we are trusting that our Lord knows the way to Ethiopia, the way to Micah David and is making a way for us.
"They will pass through the sea of trouble; the surging sea will be subdued...I will strengthen them in the Lord and in his name they will walk,"
He is leading, leading as we walk through the sea of trouble. Soon, very soon, He will subdue the sea of our trouble and lead us to our heart's desire.
He has strengthened us for this storm and in His name, for His cause, TO HIS CHILD, we walk on.
Our spirits are very faint but we are trusting that our Lord knows the way to Ethiopia, the way to Micah David and is making a way for us.
"They will pass through the sea of trouble; the surging sea will be subdued...I will strengthen them in the Lord and in his name they will walk,"
He is leading, leading as we walk through the sea of trouble. Soon, very soon, He will subdue the sea of our trouble and lead us to our heart's desire.
He has strengthened us for this storm and in His name, for His cause, TO HIS CHILD, we walk on.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Heartbroken
Today is a really tough day. We sent our dossier to Ethiopia 1 year ago today and we are still waiting to bring Micah David home. In our wildest, worst case scenario dreams we couldn't have imagined how hard this journey would be, how many wrong turns and closed doors we would face.
Today, this is breaking our hearts.
We are heartbroken and heartsick because of more than just our burdens and Micah's absence.
We are heartbroken that adoption is so hard.
We are heartbroken that so many children that need loving families are alone.
We are heartbroken that there are families who WANT THESE CHILDREN but cannot get to them.
We are heartbroken that these children will always walk with a heart limp, trailing the dust of their loss and neglect.
We are heartbroken that OUR son has to say goodbye to all he knows and loves, someday.
We are heartbroken that this day has not come yet.
We are heartbroken that this day has to come at all.
We are heartbroken for the days we have lost.
We are heartbroken for the days yet to come for so many others who do not have love in their future.
God has led us down a heartbreaking path and must want our hearts to be broken. This realization is sinking into our hearts like lead, heavy and crushing. And we aren't sure why but we KNOW that He promises to work this for our good and that He does all things well. While this may seem like a heart-conflict to those that don't know our Lord and His son, it makes perfect sense to us.
While we don't understand why we do understand HOW.
Redeem, Oh Lord, Redeem
Today, this is breaking our hearts.
We are heartbroken and heartsick because of more than just our burdens and Micah's absence.
We are heartbroken that adoption is so hard.
We are heartbroken that so many children that need loving families are alone.
We are heartbroken that there are families who WANT THESE CHILDREN but cannot get to them.
We are heartbroken that these children will always walk with a heart limp, trailing the dust of their loss and neglect.
We are heartbroken that OUR son has to say goodbye to all he knows and loves, someday.
We are heartbroken that this day has not come yet.
We are heartbroken that this day has to come at all.
We are heartbroken for the days we have lost.
We are heartbroken for the days yet to come for so many others who do not have love in their future.
God has led us down a heartbreaking path and must want our hearts to be broken. This realization is sinking into our hearts like lead, heavy and crushing. And we aren't sure why but we KNOW that He promises to work this for our good and that He does all things well. While this may seem like a heart-conflict to those that don't know our Lord and His son, it makes perfect sense to us.
While we don't understand why we do understand HOW.
Redeem, Oh Lord, Redeem
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