Fasting and Prayer

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ¹⁰ For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

¹¹ ”Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:9-12 NIV)

Today, our yahoo group will be fasting and praying for the Ethiopia program. Please join me as we pray that God would remove stumbling blocks that stand in the way of children passing court and being referred to families in the US. God tells us to ask and promises us good gifts in return.

Please pray for the following after you are done reading this blog entry. If you don't know how to pray, just use the words below!

Father, you promise to give us good gifts when we ask you. You command us to ask, seek, and knock. We are asking you to remove those hurdles and stumbling blocks that stand in the way of the many children waiting to pass court, including Micah David Kulp. We ask that you would gather all of the necessary paperwork and guide those who represent these children in court. Help MOWA to be favorable in choosing to connect these families with their forever families. We also ask that you would enable more children to be referred to waiting families. Smooth this process and help it to move more quickly than it has in the past.

We ask this in your name,
Amen

We believe our God can move mountains and is mighty to save.

Faith v. Fear: Adoption's David and Goliath

"Fear is the opposite of FAITH."

Our sermon today was on faith and desperation. Pretty fitting, huh, given my recent temper tantrums, pity parties, and general faithlessness.

It is impossible to have faith when your heart is full of fear. Faith comes from a place of ACKNOWLEDGED desperation and emptiness. We NEED God but cannot COME TO HIM when we are filled with fear and ourselves.

Ok, Lord, we were listening. We need more faith but can't muster it because of our fear.


So, how do you reconcile such a strong, God given desire (for Micah David) with the reality of our separation from him? How do you let go of your fear and take hold of faith when you haven't the energy to breathe much less pray? When the very thought of what you fear the most makes you tremble and want to concede? When you DON'T want God's will if it means your arms will continue to be empty.

How do you approach a savior who requires faith when you have none?

"Just as I am, though tossed about
with many a conflict, many a doubt,
fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come."

We have come to the place in this journey where we are working, living, existing on the strength of our God. Whatever FAITH you see, hear, or feel from us is NOT from us, it is from God. We have found ourselves UNEXPECTEDLY, TERRIBLY, WONDERFULLY, PERFECTLY DESPERATE.

And we are finally beginning to get it.

Travel Preparations and Court Fears, AGAIN

Hey Everyone,
Two weeks and a few days until court, again. Four weeks until possible travel, again. Packing, again. Finding airline tickets, again. Seeing doctors for travel, again. Human resources for insurance, again. AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN!

What am I getting at? We've begun to prepare to travel to Ethiopia, for the second time in 2 months. There is a gnawing fear in both of us that we will fail court again and all of this thought, preparation, packing, etc. will be for nothing, again. We have tried to keep that at bay while remaining positive and praying through our fears. However, we're really drained.

To be honest, we are SO DONE with international adoption right now. We're not emotional wrecks like we were, or frustrated anymore, or even as sad. We are just TIRED and worn out from this journey. Each day we pray for strength and endurance knowing that we might be at this for another few months. We are ready to be a family, to be cleaning up formula spit-up, jockeying for room in the bed, explaining to Devon why sitting on Micah David is NOT safe, etc. We are done with the distance, done with the questions, done with the "ifs" and "whys" and "whens."

I'm not going to lie, this is torture. I have stopped trying to hide it by using phrases that I KNOW are true but don't feel like "it's all in God's timing" or "He knows best." I don't have the energy for that anymore. I just hate this wait, just plain hate it. I am learning in it, I am growing spiritually and emotionally, I'm practicing the fruits of the spirit and hoping that they stick. But I hate it, all of it. Good Christian adoptive mother, aren't I! ;0) Perhaps that's why we're still waiting...

I'm done being his Mommy from afar without the benefits of having him in my arms. Unless you've adopted, you can't really understand this. It's sheer torture of the worst kind.

So, we're in the thick of the preparations, trying to keep our heads down and dodge the fears. We will be going to the city where Micah David was born, a very rural but beautiful area, so we will be getting yellow fever and typhoid vaccines as well as treatment for malaria next week, to the whopping tune of $500! God really enabled us to do this, however, as we will be getting a refund of around 300$ per airline ticket as our last flights were so expensive and the new tickets are that much cheaper. This will cover the medical costs and RX's that we will need to take with us. What a blessing!

We've also been packing up donations and the MANY just in case items we will need for ourselves. This hasn't been as fun as I thought it would be. To be honest, I just want to get there and be home already! I am praying that passing court will give us a renewed sense of excitement to travel. Right now, it seems like that many more hurdles in our way keeping us from Micah David.

So, if anyone is reading this ;0) please pray for the following.

-BEG God that we pass court on January 20th (we're WAY beyond asking at this point!). I'm not sure begging is Biblical, but I'm being real. That's where we are!

-Ask for a HUGE measure of peace, endurance, and grace for us as we are really hitting rock bottom with this process and it's taking its toll on our marriage and family.

-Please pray for Devon. He is SO CONFUSED about his brother. He keeps asking "Where is he?" Then, he'll see pictures of him being held by others and say "Is that his mommy/daddy?" This really tears me up and is an unexpected reaction.

-Pray for little man Micah David as he is waiting for us. Ask God to BIND our hearts together as a family and for health and safety while he is there.

We really love you all and want, more than anything, to share our youngest son with you. What a day that will be!!

Kim

Fekadu and Tigist Taylor have a FOREVER FAMILY!!!

Congratulations to my great friends Bethany and Josh Taylor as their kiddos passed through court today! We are rejoicing with them. They will be traveling with the Violette family in a few weeks to bring their daughter and son home forever. They are first time parents adopting older kids, my heroes for sure!

WE LOVE YOU TAYLORS!!!! I can't wait to see you holding those sweet faces in your hands (and holding our Micah David too!)

Meti has a FOREVER FAMILY!!!

Today, Meti Joy Violette passed through Ethiopian courts and will join her forever family in a few weeks. This girl is AMAZING and has been loving on and caring for all of the kids at the transitional home for almost a year. She is a sweet spirit who brings so much joy to all who meet her.

CONGRATULATIONS METI GIRL AND VIOLETTE FAMILY!!!! We rejoice with you this day!!!

A New Year, A New Face, A New Heart

Tomorrow is a new year, a new set of days. But, to us, it is yet another day without Micah David.

It has been a wonderfully difficult year full of unexpected joys, sorrows, and a challenge that has yet to be overcome. At times we feel this year was unsuccessful as we have not held our youngest son yet. But, to our God, this year was all within His plan, including the fact that our Micah remains in the arms of his nannies, not in the arms of his parents and big brother.

When it comes to Micah David, our hearts have learned to hope upon hope upon hope upon...well, you get the idea. We have decided that we need new hearts for this new year. We need hearts that are firmly set upon not what WE have planned for ourselves and our family, but what HE has planned for us. Hearts that desire not to use but to BE USED.

I can't express what we feel nearly as well as a dear adoption/bloggy heart, Kristin Lunceford did in her Christmas letter.

"The momentum of hope that began our year and that continues to wake us each morning is the same momentum that will push us toward a new year, a new child, and a new perspective on what it means to be used by a God who has so very much for us to do. Though closure eludes us on the adoption front and the world is still holding onto one orphan too many, our posture remains expectant as we are made more faithful in the waiting and certainly in the hoping."

Still in the hoping business. Happy New Year.

Kim, Chad, Devon, and soon...Micah David

SO CRAZY!!!

If you heard all of the stories of delays, mix-ups, etc. that go along with adoption, you'd STILL think this one was wild!

So, today my dear friends Bethany and Holly were to have court dates for their kiddos in ET. However, last night the MOWA representative that was to sign off on their adoptions in court today was ARRESTED. That's right, friends, he was arrested and so (funny enough) did not show up for court. This means their cases were not heard.

Bethany Taylor was rescheduled, by some miracle, for Friday.

Holly Sapp, however, was rescheduled for January 16th, two weeks and a few days from today. If we all pass, this would put us in the same travel group. I am so sad for the delay but so ELATED that we might get to travel together. I really love her and her sweet daughter is beyond beautiful. The thought of being THERE when they are united gives me goose bumps!

Sometimes it's tempting to doubt God's sovereign control over this crazy, unexpected, unfair world. Each time I do that, however, I give a little of my faith away, something my sons and heart cannot afford.

So, today I am choosing to remember the God of Daniel and the Lions den. Surely if our God can shut a lion's mouth, He can preside over some paperwork in Ethiopia.