The Mountain View

Christmas in Ethiopia

2011-12-25T22:34:00.002-05:00

Today was Christmas and we spent it first by going to worship at the International Evangelical Church in Addis. We sat in on a French service where the singing was absolutely amazing. Though we couldn't understand the words, we were able to sing several praise songs because we knew the melody.

I was taken over by the uninhibited love and adoration that Africans exhibit when they worship. Their love for God was palpable and their thankfulness for Jesus was intoxicating. I could have stayed with them and sang all day!

We then went to the Christmas service and worshiped with people from around the world. We heard at least 5 languages being spoken in the church, which as so awesome! We were both emotional when singing "Emmanuel" thinking of the perfect child who came to earth to bear the sins of the world. It is fitting that we are here, celebrating Emmanuel while at the same time bringing a new life into our family, a life that would be lost without the mercy and grace of Jesus. Such a heart-opening experience!

We then went to lunch at Metro Pizza, which we have eaten at before and the pizza is just as good! We met up with a few families who returned from Harra*, the region that Haddy is from in Northern Ethiopia. They had been to her orphanage and had asked the staff for photos of Haddy Cake. They were told that Haddy was too small and sick and they didn't want to take photos of her. This answers a lot for us regarding her health before coming into the care of our agency.

Our hearts break thinking of the hunger and struggle she must have experienced, yet we are amazed at her fighting spirit! A premie baby, undernourished, underdeveloped, abandoned-- yet she remains strong and a total delight to all who meet her. She, like our Devon and Micah, is a living miracle and testimony of God's grace and redemption on earth.

We then went to be with our girl at the Transitional Home. She was a bit distant at first, unresponsive, which made us very worried for her. Then, we took the hat off that we had brought for her and she perked right up. Mommy was sad about the hat, but at least she doesn't mind bows!

We were able to hook her up to our monitoring equipment (Chad is THE man and was able to procure some equipment from work) and watch her vital signs. Her heart rate was very fast at first, which made us very uneasy. Then, after she was fed, her heart rate normalized. Her pulse ox. was at 100%, which is absolute perfection! She cried a bit, which made us all melt as she has the sweetest little pouty cry we've ever heard. We weighed her and found that she has gained 1 pound in 2 weeks! We are hopeful that she will continue to gain weight in their care.

We are so thankful for the nursing staff at the TH. They dearly love her and have kept very good documentation on her life and health with them. They work so hard to care for the babies as best they can while providing love and support. We are forever grateful.

Today we go to court to give our consent to bring Haddy into our family. I would be lying if I said I wasn't on the verge of tears at all times. I've been up since 4:30 am praying and worrying (which defeats the praying, I know) over this day. Passing today would give us the BEST scenario to get her home within a few weeks. We are still unsure of when I (Kim) will be coming home. This is starting to take its tole on me, as is the jet lag. Please pray for a favorable court date and sound sleep for Kim!

We will keep you updated with the court results as soon as we have them! For now, enjoy a few photos from our journey.

We Made It--- Haddy Cake Metcha Day

2011-12-24T08:44:00.003-05:00

Hi Everyone,

So, we're reopening the blog because we are currently in Ethiopia for our court date for Haddy Cake Kulp!

Our trip to court has been a crazy fast ride! We found out last Monday (5 days ago) that there was a strong possibility that our court date would be moved up given Haddy's medical status. At that time she was still in the hospital and without a diagnosis (we still don't have a diagnosis, btw, and won't until we get her home). On Tuesday we were told to spend a ridiculous amount of money on tickets because we would be leaving in 3 days! What a whirlwind. I feel like I was just sitting in my room with my friend Kate packing, but that was 5 days ago.

Our trip to Ethiopia was horrendously long, but uneventful (if you don't count Chad's birthday literally only lasting 16 hours because of the time change!). Ethiopian airlines is wonderful and their new planes are top notch. We have no complaints, save the lack of toilet paper 8 hours into a 13 hour flight (but Super Kim always carries TP ;0)

We arrived at our guest house via an amazing AWAA transport in the form of Yonas and David (amazing friends already). As we drove, memories of our last trip smacked us in the face in the form of beautiful landscape and people (as well as stifling pollution, inhaler, check). We had forgotten so much. This land is breathtaking in its beauty yet crippled in its poverty. Somehow distance had made my heart forget this strange and unbearable truth.

We had 5 minutes (ok, it was 30 but it felt like 5) to get ready to go meet Haddy. Our nerves took over and so I naturally started to pick at Chad and he immediately had to use the bathroom. ;0)

We drove a familiar route to the Transitional Home (run by our agency where little bows is) and found ourselves in no time at the silver gates.

Oh. My. Friends. She is a delightful, adorable, teensy-weensy bundle of JOY! She giggles and smiles so often that we found ourselves literally in puddles of love on the dirt floor. We can tell that she is a total LIFE GIVER as every. single. person. is madly in love with our Haddy Cake. They even had the massive pink bow I sent on her! (But, her hair was a hot-fro-mess which this mama will correct in no time, don't you worry little Cake.)

She is, by all accounts, a precious gift and we are so thankful for her. We can tell she is strong, alert, interactive, social, joyful, and just all around adorable.

What she IS NOT is at a healthy weight. Our little peanut is so, so, so, small. nothing quite prepared me for how small she is. Right now, wherever you are, imagine a sack of flower in your arms. That is our Haddy Cake, under 10 pounds at 5 months old.

A few things are clear to us, Haddy Alana is OURS. She is total joy, just like her namesake Alana, Chad's sister who is with Jesus. Alana was a life giver, a joy spreader, a sweet pixie of a girl who had her older brothers wrapped around her tiny elfin fingers. Haddy is and will be the same.

We are also sure that this baby is, despite her disposition and strength, very underweight and having feeding issues. She is also still tachypnic, meaning her breathing is still too fast.

We were notified today that our MOWCY* Letter (approving our family for her) has been written and sent to the court. We appear before the judge on Monday. It looks as though we will pass on that date and then, hopefully, be submitted to the Embassy on January 4th. We don't have an indication yet of how long her visa will take to process, which means we are not sure yet if Kim is staying or coming home on Friday Night.

Please keep praying for Haddy's health to improve and for her to begin eating normally. She is so small, we really want to see her put on weight!

We'll post pics as soon as we pass court. Love to you all!

Naked for Christ--- It's Not About Me!

2010-10-20T10:59:00.004-04:00

Lately I have come to realize just how selfish, self-absorbed, self-focused I am!

Truth be told, I hate the second part of that title; I hate that truth! I want to make everything about me. My feelings, my needs, my dreams, my hopes, my prayers, my life... the list goes on and on. If I really am honest, I'm like my screaming 2 year old so much of the time. "MINE!!" "NO WAY!!" "GIVE ME!!"

The crazy thing about my selfishness is that it has denied me great joy and blessing! There is not ONE blessing in my life that I willingly brought upon myself by being self-focused. All of my life's joys have come from the Lord and my willingness to follow His loving plan.

Devon came to us after I kicked and screamed over not getting pregnant.

Micah came to us after I kicked and screamed that he wasn't coming home soon enough.

We got to see God's amazing right hand through Micah despite my screams of "it's not fair!!!" from the pit.

God has blessed my selfishness in ways I don't deserve. He has loved me at my most wretched. And he is commanding me to "walk in love" as He did. He's asking me to give myself up as He did for me. It's shocking and painful to be so exposed to our selfishness and lay it at the feet of the one who became naked and broken for us.

But, in this nakedness we find true love and blessing. There's nothing that stands in the way of my relationship with God, of my love for Him, and of my ability to serve Him on this earth than- ME!

If we really want to confront our hearts and conform them to be like Christ, we must confront our selfishness. This is not easy, its down right miserable. When we do it, when we really hold the mirror up to our hearts we are left naked.

Naked for Christ.

We are naked right now. We are reevaluating our calling, examining our vision, and assessing our selfishness and turning our hearts back to the Lord and His amazing plan. This blog post made me ask myself "just what are you doing? Are your dreams God's dreams or your own version of MINE?"

Read it and be prepared to get naked.

Fall Festival Madness!

2010-10-08T08:38:00.002-04:00

Hi All! Most of you know via Facebook or email that we are having a HUGE Fall Festival in 1 week to raise money for our adoption. The planning is in full crazy swing and we'll have a hay ride, pulled pork, face painting, live music, root beer keg, and so much more! We'll also be selling raffle tickets for awesome baskets that have been donated.

Please consider joining us. The cost of the tickets is 15$ adults, 5$ for kiddos with a maximum of $40 per family.

We hope to see you!

2010-09-14T23:28:00.004-04:00

MICAH- "Who is like our God?"

Words cannot begin to express what we have seen and felt today. Our hearts are swimming in sadness mixed with mercy. We can no longer ignore the face of starvation. It is the face of our son. I'll tell the story because in the telling perhaps we will find peace and you will find HOPE.

What we know about Micah's life before he came to our agency and to Addis isn't much. We know he was relinquished by a brave, amazing woman who wanted him to live. She gave hope to a hopeless child. She walked away from her own flesh so that he might have life. We knew he was sick; we knew he was little; we knew he was a miracle. But there is so much we don't know. The silence of what we don't know is deafening.

This week, through my great friend Sherry and an amazing woman who gave her life for a year to our kiddos in Ethiopia, a bit of that silence has been filled. God's timing with this was so perfect. I had just written my previous blog post and my heart was filled with wonder at the amazing redemption of adoption and yet broken by the pain and reality of what abandonment is. We were weary of the fundraising, the questions, the unknowns.

God BROKE THROUGH and gave us, yet again, an image of his amazing grace and love for the orphan. HE IS HOPE.

This week the silence of the unknown has been filled with screaming and has been replaced with an ache in my heart and stomach so real I can barely breathe. The screaming is of both horror and hope. It's unreal.

The brave, loving, amazing Rachel, who spent so much of her time caring for our kids in Ethiopia, sent us photos of Micah when he first arrived in her care. I have no words to express how these photos have broken my heart, shocked me into facing the reality of STARVATION and the hopelessness that has blanketed so much of Africa.

We knew he was sick. We knew he was small. We knew he was a miracle. We didn't know he was dying. DYING. STARVING TO DEATH.

We've all seen the pictures and felt sadness for a child a million miles away who has nothing to eat. What if it were your child? Have you actually ever asked yourself that question? IT WAS MY CHILD. The emaciated, sunken face; the protruding, distended belly; the skin that hangs off like an elephants; and the bones, the bones...

I've been trying to get the courage to show you the real pictures, to show you the face of starvation, the face of death apart from our Savior. I can't, I WON'T, do it. This is Micah's story and I will let him tell you one day. When he can look into his own sunken eyes and accept his distended belly, his hanging skin, his skeleton-like body, I will know he is ready.

I will tell you that there is NOTHING that prepared my heart for those photos.

I will show you the photos of my 3 month old baby 2 weeks after he came into the care of our amazing, mama-bear, fight to the death for every baby agency-family in Ethiopia.

Here's our little Moo. 3 months old.

This photo shows a MIRACULOUS change in our son. Given proper nutrition, care, and LOVE, he was transformed. God's grace reigned supreme in the life of our Micah. God's grace reigns supreme in my life and I am struck dumb by his mercy.

Micah is simply an earthly, physical glimpse of how our Savior saves us all from the starvation of our souls.

Thank you, Father, for saving my son.

Brokenness and Truth

2010-09-06T11:33:00.005-04:00

I've been wanting to write this post for over a year and haven't summoned the courage. This isn't easy to write and most likely won't be easy to read. I am sure there will be many who agree, many who disagree, and many who don't want to admit the truth about adoption. I'm writing this for myself, for catharsis, to "speak the truth in love..." and about love.

When I think about adoption I wish the only images that came to my mind were rainbows, smiles, and kisses. But this just isn't the truth. There are so many painful images that come to my mind, that are forever imprinted on my heart. To only tell the kisses would be lying to myself and to the world about what adoption is and what it is not.

Adoption is God's design. He authored it and obviously champions it as He had his only son come into the world as an adopted child. Adoption is wonderful and we are big fans.

But adoption exists because of pain, brokenness, despair, horror, and sadness. Adoption exists because of starvation, death, disease, abuse, rape, and other unspeakable horrors. Adoption is amazing and beautiful and love. But adoption is also misery, pain, hardship, torture, loss, and so much more.

This weekend we spent time with our great friends. They recently brought their child home from China and she is an amazing joy! BUT, there is struggle. There is pain. There is hardship. A gorgeous child who has seen so much hardship already and yet has finally come to a safe loving place. This is an amazing picture of redemption! But before redemption comes unspeakable pain.

The truth about adoption is that in order for it to exist one family must rip themselves from their child and give them up. A mother turns her head as nurses carry her baby away. A policeman holds a child as his mother walks away forever. A child is left on the side of a road while the mother secretly waits in hiding for someone to carry him away. A child watches his mother die and then is taken from all he knows to a home that is not his home.

However it happens it is painful, it is torture, it is life at its most brokenness.

It's easy to talk about how wonderful the child's life is now, how amazing it is to bring them into our home, how blessed they now are in their new life. BUT, that's not the only truth. The pain of their separation from their first family is true, it is real, and it is important to acknowledge. Jesus wept at the loss of Lazarus. He felt the truth, the pain, the ache of death as a human.

As adoptive parents we either acknowledge this reality or we don't. In order for us to have our child, to experience the joy and the love someone had to go through horror beyond understanding. This is the truth.

Lately we have been wondering where and how our little girl is. Has she been born? Is she healthy? Where is she now? This third time around I truly want to experience adoption for ALL that it is, not what I want it to be or what I think it should be. So, this time around I am allowing myself to wonder, ponder, cry over, and consider the whole truth of my child's life.

Right now she could be lying on the side of the road, screaming, waiting for someone to find her. She could be in the arms of a policeman watching her mother walk away. She could be in the arms of a nurse, her mother turning her head as she is carried away to a nursery. I just don't know. Does she miss her mother? And how will God minister to the hearts of those aching for my daughter well beyond my own aching?

I know that a family is in pain somewhere knowing that they will not see the smiles, get the kisses, rock, hold, sing, LOVE on my daughter though their love for her is just as strong. I love this family. I hate the brokenness that will eventually bring my daughter to me. So much of my heart wishes it didn't have to be.

But I love the REDEMPTION that is adoption. I look forward to the redemption, to the kisses, to the small hand that will fit perfectly in mine. I look forward to sharing her story and my heart with her.

Right now I am allowing the truth and brokenness of adoption to seep into my heart. I don't want to miss this part. I don't want to be too afraid to acknowledge this dark, sad side of adoption.

The light of redemption will be so much brighter after walking in this darkness,.

Knit Together

2010-08-20T08:48:00.002-04:00

Our God is an amazing visionary.

Whenever I think of visionaries, I imagine the scene in Apollo 13 where the men who are trying to fix the shuttle are in a conference room discussing the problems. A man walks in carrying a box of random stuff. He says to the group " We have to make this (holds up the necessary part) out of this (holds up the box of random stuff)." That's vision.

Our God is an amazing visionary.

When we first brought Micah home our home was nothing short of a war zone. There are no words to describe how desperate, how disappointed, how dazed we felt at the REALITY of adoption. It was so hard. SO. HARD.

I remember telling my great friend Sherry "I feel like this adoption has ruined our life." Yeah. It was that bad. Micah never slept and cried for his nanny all night long. Devon revolted against the crazy life change of having a new brother. He reverted back to diapers and bit, hit, and screamed his way through each day.

If I had only known.

Yesterday we were at an indoor playland and the boys were playing together. I watched as Devon stayed with his much smaller 2 year old brother and played with him, protecting him from other kids who would bump or touch him. I was amazed. Then I heard Devon say to Micah "Micah, I love you. You're the best brother." I burst into tears.

Our God is an amazing visionary.

He created us each as individuals, so different with so many different needs and abilities. Yet, he knew how we would fit together. He knew what we each needed and chose us specifically for one another. It's amazing to me how well suited my sons are for one another. Where one is weak, the other is strong. Yet they have the same joyful, playful, strong, loving spirit.

Our God is an amazing visionary.

He chose a baby born in an underprivileged community in Trenton for a young, inexperienced couple and redeemed an entire family. He chose a starving baby in Ethiopia for that same baby boy to help him grow, to give him a best friend, to change him in ways he didn't want to change and to help him be a more whole individual. And He did it all for us despite our lack of vision and faith.

And right now He is choosing another child to fit into this puzzle of family He has made in us. This child will be exactly what we need and so much more than we can imagine.

That's love, my friends. Visionary love.

Hurry Up and Wait

2010-08-15T20:42:00.004-04:00

Happy DTE (dossier to Ethiopa) for the Kulp Clan!!

What does all this mean? Our dossier has been logged in and is headed to Ethiopia (insert sigh of relief). I can't tell you exactly where we are in line but we believe we are in the 20ish spot in line. There are many families ahead of us but some of them are requesting either girl or boy and sibling groups. That being said, this is an unofficial list and doesn't really mean much given the unpredictable elements that pop up in adoption.

January...February...March...Hurry up and wait.

Is it time to buy hair bows yet?

We Have Lift Off!!!

2010-08-03T15:56:00.001-04:00

Hello Friends!

I am staring at a completed dossier sitting on my counter. Truth be told, I have been staring at it for 2 months. But, today is different. Today is the LAST DAY I will stare at this pile of paperwork that was painstakingly gathered and has touched many, many hands. Today is the LAST day I will wonder when we will be ready, when we will be certain, when we will be mailing the silly pile.

Because TODAY we were awarded a $3,000 matching grant from Lifesong for Orphans. This means a potential $6,000 towards our adoption, the money we will need to accept our baby gir's referral when it comes.

Our God is so awesome. When we started waiting for this money I was so frustrated. The "whens" turned into "whys" and "hows" and then "how could you's!"

But God is bigger than my ranting, kinder than our imaginings, and more faithful than our expectations. As if we hadn't received enough grace and blessing through our first two adoptions, our BIG God chose to show us his grace in the one area we struggled to surrender: our finances.

He owns all of the cattle on a thousand hills. He has blessed the work of our hands and has given us abundance.

We ask that you would pray with us that the $3,000 would indeed come in to make this grant complete.

Praise Him from whom all blessings (and GRANTS!) flow!

Blogging is a luxury I don't have...and pictures

2010-07-19T16:50:00.000-04:00

So, I have no time to blog lately. Sorry! We are doing well, same-old-same-old really. The boys are growing and as crasher-basher-dasher as ever. They are a perfect fit. Adoption is redemption, my friends, redemption on earth!

I've taken on a job solely to raise money for the baby-girl project and God has truly blessed us thus far! We had an awesome first garage sale where we raised 1300$ and are looking forward to having a second sometime in August/September when our schedule allows.

Right now we are waiting to send our dossier for a few more weeks but we reserve the right to change our minds at any time. This is a luxury we deserve!

And now, what you really want to see, the dynamic "dopted" duo!

Where We Are

2010-05-07T15:29:00.000-04:00

While I'd love to bring you a meaningful, heartfelt post about how much we are longing for our daughter and what God is doing in our lives (and we are, and He is doing much), I am just too busy running around with these critters. And I mean RUNNING! Micah David is super fast and almost 2. I can barely keep up at this point. It's a crazy life that I LOVE living.

This journey will certainly be a LONG one for our family. So was the last. In light of that, I thought I would give everyone an idea of where we are in the process.

We are almost done with our paperwork and have submitted for our I-171H document from immigration. There's a long formal name for this but basically its the piece of paper stating "Yes, you can bring a child you barely know into a country she doesn't know and raise her. Have FUN!"

Once we have this document, we'll be able to complete our dossier and send it to Ethiopia.

THEN, the fun of FUNdraising begins. We have grants we are applying for, a garage sale on the calendar, and a huge bash planned.

Stay Tuned!

Our New Journey-- There and Back Again

2010-04-20T14:16:00.000-04:00

It's been a nice, welcomed, needed break from living our life in public, I mean blogging.

But now we're back. Literally. We are back to it, back at it, back IN it.

We were there. We saw. And we cannot forget. The faces are forever seared in our minds, branded on our hearts. It's not a calling any longer. It's obedience.

This life of ours, our missionary hearts, are bound to obey. This is our walk in obedience and our love song to a God who walked the infinately hard, miserable, chaos for us.

So we are going back. This time for a different kind of magic, our daughter.

Amari Alana Kulp (story to follow)

So there.

REFERRALVERSARY!!!

2009-09-25T14:31:00.000-04:00

Happy 1 Year Referralversary!!!

It's been 1 year since we saw our Micah David for the first time. I can't believe how time has flown! So much of this year was spent waiting, praying, dreaming, crying for our baby. Now we are so blessed to be chasing after him and trying to keep that precious smile on his face!!!

He's gone through so much since our first meeting. He can walk, talk, laugh, sing, dance, run after his brother, hit, laugh at himself in the mirror, play peek-a-boo and duck duck goose, and make ANYONE who meets him fall madly in love.

He's our JOY!

Enjoy the video!!!

Happy Referralversary!!!

Manic Monday Picture

2009-09-14T12:56:00.000-04:00

There's nothing like a box to make hours of fun!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Sweet baby ray

2009-09-12T12:33:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Chad aint nothin but a hole digger

2009-09-12T11:21:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

More beach fun

2009-09-12T11:19:00.000-04:00

Yes, friends, they are playing together. Gone are the days of 'Mommy, get Micah now!!!' Enter the days of the brothers as God intended.
What joy!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Cheesecake at the beach!

2009-09-12T11:02:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Beach fun

2009-09-12T11:01:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Meet Desi Low!!!!!

2009-08-04T14:43:00.001-04:00

Jeremiah Desalegne Low

This little guy STOLE our hearts while we were in Ethiopia. After a long wait, four failed court attempts, and lots of tears and prayers, this DELICIOUS sweety is finally coming home to his family. We couldn't be happier for the Lows!

Family, Finally

2009-08-02T21:36:00.000-04:00

I know what you're thinking. "You've been a family since you got home!" Well, yes and no. We were a family outwardly because we had all the ingredients. We lived in the same home, we ate together, worshiped together, belonged to each other. But there was an alien in our house, a really cute, loved, amazing alien, but an alien non the less.

We knew he was ours but it took time to sink in, to feel whole, to feel natural. For Chad and I, the love was instant. We have adored Micah from day 1. For Devon, Micah was the competition who swooped in took all the attention and turned his world upside down. It's hard to be a family when one child does not love the other.

It was rough. We didn't FEEL like a family. The adoption roller coaster didn't stop when we got home. We got off the "waiting, traveling" coaster and on to the "waiting to be "normal" coaster. This was unexpected and hard to take.

But days went by and slowly but surely Devon began to love Micah, Micah began to attach to us, we began to feel a deep attachment for him, and the family began to emerge.

But it's a different family.

It doesn't look like it used to. I am not the Mom I was. There are fewer cookies, missed appointments, late payments, piles of dirty laundry that were not there before Micah. There are less play-dates, even less dinners out, and virtually NO date nights.

But this family has MORE. More love, more laughter, more joy, more fun. Two times the dirty faces, two times the smiles. Two times the screams, two times the laughter. Two times the laundry, two times the mud pies.

MORE JOY, MORE LOVE, MORE FAMILY. FINALLY.

Baby Tossing (and other various videos from July)

2009-07-28T16:01:00.000-04:00

The Books I'm Reading (says MUCH about our life!!!)

2009-07-21T21:25:00.001-04:00

I don't have time to tell you all that's going on in our life, so I thought I would give you a list of what I am reading. This will tell you much more than I have energy to tell you!

The Psalms- This book has meant so much to me this year. I can't get enough of our Father's amazing poetry, so full of love, heartache, pain, hope, relief, comfort, and praise!

"Why ADHD Doesn't Mean Disaster"- SUCH A GREAT BOOK! This is requiring a paradigm shift in my thinking in such a great way. ADHD does not have to be a disability, but rather a DIVIDEND. We are all made in God's image for His purposes. This book is going to help us figure out how to maximize the potential of our dashing, dreaming D.

"Parenting the Spirited Child"- Yeah, that should be self explanatory. ;0)

"Toddler Adoption"- We thought we were bringing home an infant. God had other plans. I obviously have catching up to do.

"Good Night, Sleep Tight"- No, he's not sleeping through the night yet. ;-) A "how to get your kid to sleep without killing yourself" manual. So far it's working pretty well.

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"- because I re-read The Half-Blood Prince and couldn't get enough, again.

"A Wife After God's Own Heart"- This one I have read before. I needed a refresher. Somewhere between poopy diapers, Popsicle kisses, and sleepless nights I forgot about my #1 man. What can I say, I'm working on it, hence the book.

Holidays, Haircuts, and Happenings

2009-07-12T14:04:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Mommy, spent at the lake and beach with two water babies, a hero hubby, and great MIL.

Two of my favorite pictures of Micah and Mommy

Gorgeous Night Sitting Along The Dam

Silly Family, Fun Days

The Unimaginable...Please Pray

2009-07-10T21:14:00.000-04:00

Erica Reed is kind, sweet, encouraging, and has walked a difficult journey. Today, the worst news was given to her family. Their beautiful angel, Julianna, has gone to heaven. They were to travel in 2 weeks, they were to hold her in 2 weeks, they waited 2 years.

The unimaginable.

Please pray for the Reed family. They are strong and faithful but they are hurting. They need our prayers, our arms to hold them up as they release their sweet daughter to her home.

Please pray.

http://reedadoption.blogspot.com/2009/07/julianna-is-in-heaven.html

Racism and Reactions

2009-07-10T13:42:00.000-04:00

Today is a really sad day in our house. Micah and I (Devon was thankfully at camp) were verbally assaulted at a grocery store by an evil, angry man who took offense when I placed Micah on the belt to change carts. I don't want to go into details of what he said but I have to say I have never been called such awful, mean, evil things.

Then he called Micah, my sweet baby, the "N" word.

Nothing prepares you for this moment, the moment when you realize that someone hates your loving, kind, sweet child because of His beautiful GOD DESIGNED skin tone. I don't understand it; I never will.

My heart is broken because I know this is not the last time THAT WORD will ring in his ears. What a sad, sad day for us.

I reacted well, I think. I asked him to stop, told him I was sorry, told him I didn't believe I deserved his reaction, told him I would pray for him, then threatened to call the police. At that, he left us alone.

Why? Why is my son's skin so offensive? What do you say to a man filled with hatred at a 14 month old baby?

I don't know what to say but I know this makes me long for heaven, for a day when we will all see God's creation as it is-- beautiful yet fallen.

Our Month In Pictures

2009-06-30T16:31:00.000-04:00

Love Is Growing!!!

Bubble Fun!

Sprinkler Time

Chillin' with my ETBFF Elias

Look what I can do!!!

I LOVE FOOD!!!

Baptism Cake

Learning to pull up to a stand- Almost There!!!

You Got It!!!

Happy Silly Boy

I'll EAT YOU UP!!!

Our Sleep Solutions (not that we're sleeping yet ;0)

2009-06-25T20:53:00.000-04:00

Today my house is clean, my dishes done, my to do list accomplished (well, for the most part), and my sanity gathered. Why, you may ask, because we are finally SLEEPING!!

No, not through the night fully, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel and are getting more sleep each night. How, might you ask. Well, it hasn't been easy but here's what we did.

Step 1: Identify the negative behaviours and attachment woes.

FEAR OF BEING ALONG: Micah does not want to sleep alone in his room. Poor baby. He's never been alone. He slept, ate, played, bathed, etc. alongside many other children and caretakers. It's no wonder he's scared of being alone, especially at night in the dark.

THE BOTTLE: Micah is ADDICTED to his bottle. Every time he awoke he would demand a bottle to go back to sleep. Sometimes he just wanted a few sips, often a few ounces. He could wake up to 5 times a night, NO FUN!!! This added up to over eating and 4 ear infections. No good. This had to change for those reasons.

Most importantly, however, is the reality that as long as he is attached to his bottle for comfort, he will not look to us. How sad that he thinks his bottle is his mommy. Poor sweetie.

SCHEDULE ISSUES: Micah NEEDS a clear predictable schedule. This is tough to accomplish while managing Devon's needs and routine.

Step 2: Create New Positive Attachments

FEAR OF BEING ALONG: We've attached his crib to our bed as a sidecar. This way I can cradle his head in my arm while he's in his crib when he's sad or needs to be touched. So far this is really effective and has made the transition to napping and bedtime much easier.

BOTTLE ADDICTION:
So, we decided to break him of this habit. Not an easy task. He cried for hours a night and every nap time for 2 weeks. It's gotten easier, only 45 minutes each night, but isn't perfect yet. He still awakes at midnight and cries for about a half an hour then again at 4. This is steady improvement and we can see an end and restful nights in the future.

SCHEDULE: Micah naps and eats at the same time each day. Devon's day camp has really helped to keep us on schedule as well. He's gone three mornings a week from 9-12. I am able to focus on Micah's naps and food on these days. It's really helped.

Step 3: Assess and Evaluate DAILY
Each day we evaluate how the sleeping and eating patterns have gone. Some days are good, some days are not. It's tough to see the forest for the trees on hard days but it's important to evaluate none the less.

The lack of sleep can really make this tough.

Step 4: LET GO AND LOVE
The reality is that that this process is a tango, a few steps forward, a few back. Repeat.

But, we've come to believe that if you set boundaries for your children and love them, they will attach to you if it is God's will. We repeat this to ourselves as Micah screams in our arms pushing away from us each night.

Daily, there is a war of fear and concern raging in my head. The questions go round and round. Are we doing the right thing? Is there any way we can make this easier on him? Is it too soon for these changes? Is he ready for attachment changes yet?

There's no way to know the answers to these questions for sure right now. We're plodding along as if it IS the right choice because we believe its the only choice we have right now. For our sanity and family we must make these changes to better our nights, to better our lives, to better our hearts- Especially Micah's.

Our GAP Model Photo Shoot

2009-06-22T07:37:00.000-04:00

Ok, so they are not actually Gap models, YET! The pictures turned out so well and, since we are not doing it again EVER (it was pure anarchy!) we bought most of them!

Enjoy my silly, sweet, wonderful, gorgeous, loving, zany boys!!!

Miracle Micah's Baptism

2009-06-21T19:13:00.000-04:00

One year ago this week our starving little miracle was relinquished by his brave, loving mother. What heartache she must have felt. Yet, this heartache was in God's plan to save our little miracle and bring him to us. We don't understand this choice, but we are so grateful and blessed.

What an amazing picture of God's covenant of GRACE to His children.

Today our covenant child was baptised into his forever covenant family. What a wonderful God we have who loves us enough to CHOOSE US, to be our God, to have us as His people.

Chillin' before the service.

Mommy's already crying ;0)

He jabbered the entire way through! He kept saying "bye bye" and waving to the congregation.

Our Sweet Blessed Family

Pastors Bob and Mark, who performed the baptism with us after the service.

What I'm STILL Waiting For...

2009-06-18T19:42:00.000-04:00

I am so blessed, yet still waiting. So much has been received, so much blessing. But, still, the waiting remains. Why? What could it be inside my heart that does not feel at home yet? Where is this unsettling coming from? What am I waiting for?

For my baby to choose me over a bottle...
For the shadow of his other mommies to fade...
For my other baby's diagnosis and therapies to start...
For a vacation...
For the endless poopy diaper changes to end...
For healing from the loss of so much time with Micah Moo...
For sleep that lasts longer than 4 hours...
For a heart that desires to serve all three people without wearing out...
For my weekly phone call from SHERRY
For SHERRY to move next door so that I don't have to do this all alone...
For Devon to start summer camp next week...
For a shower that includes washing, shaving, relaxing!!!
For those I love the most to love me just as I am, nothing more and nothing less...
To love other just as they are, nothing more and nothing less...
To be a mother who doesn't yell...
To be a mother who says the right thing...
To be a mother and wife who doesn't say as much as I do...
Perfection... ;0)
For a Canon Rebel Xti...
For Des** Low to pass court...
For the next heartbreak to begin calling my heart to action...
For my baby girl...

For Jesus...that's really what I'm waiting for. For a life without tears, without struggle, with out the need for adoption.

For peace that is not fleeting.

Amazing Blessings- We Might Be OK After All!!

2009-06-16T13:36:00.000-04:00

Some AMAZING changes and blessings from Devon...

Giving Brother a new toy instead of leveling him and stealing it from his hand.
"Come here Brother. You can touch my chair now!!"
"Good MORNING Brother! You can have some blue cereal with me."
"Let's go to Chick-Fil-A. Can brother come too?"
Holding Brother's hand in the car to help him sleep.
Feeding Brother his "ba-ba" on the couch.
Protecting Brother (from nothing really but it's important none the less!) at Annie's party.
"Come on Brother DUDE, let's go for a ride!!" in Annie and Luke's Jeep.
"Can Brother sleep with me, please, Mommy?"
Talking about his feelings and anger towards sharing.

Some AMAZING changes and blessings from Micah...

Reaching for Mommy when someone else holds him.
Crying out "mamamamama" when he's hurt or angry.
Pulling up to a stand!
First steps with Dada holding his hands.
Smiley and laughy at his big brother.
LOVES our family favorite, "So You Think You Can Dance" as much as we do.
Dancing to "Boom Boom Pow" with Devon.
First time in nursery, no TEARS but lots of happy smiles when Mommy returned.

Some AMAZING changes and blessings for/within us...

Our first post-Africa date with friends Becca and Steve, SO FUN!
Courageously letting go of attachment fears and parenting with understanding, not fear.
Gaining self-control over our frustration at 2 am.
Laughing about our lack of free/quality time instead of crying about it!
Strategizing about sleep and food issues as a TEAM.
Camping as a family with great friends.
Forgiveness, FORgiveness, FORGIVEness, FORGIVENESS!!
Taking hold of new mercies every day.

Some AMAZING blessings from others to US...

A wonderful Bible Study for us both with our church friends.
Great music on the radio that reminds me to take hold of grace and choose love.
A 30 MINUTE phone call with my best girl SHERRY, boy do we miss those days!
Great sermons that CHALLENGE the heck out of us (THAT Mark Fodale).
A life-changing scone recipe (thanks Mama Kari ;0)
100$ from Grams for a new stroller.
A family vacation with my sweet sister and gorgeous nieces at the end of the summer to look forward to.
BURTUKAN DELFOSSE (an Infantia baby) PASSING COURT (we fell IN LOVE with this sweetie in ET!)
A trip to see Ashley at the end of July to look forward to.
A fixed washer, car, refrigerator. I have the HANDIEST HUNK in the world.

Psalm 30

11You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

12that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.

O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!

Fun at Crayola Factory

2009-06-13T13:37:00.000-04:00

This week we met the Koby's at the Crayola Factory in Easton. The kids had a blast and Heather and I marveled at how amazing it is to be home for almost 3 months (and to survive transitioning to two kiddos)/ Our kids are the same age so it works really well to get together.

Micah and Elias were together in Ethiopia and are forever friends. Here are some fun pictures!

DELICIOUS Sweetie Pie

Our ET HUNKS, Elias and Micah David

Silly Little Devon

Devon and Pretty Julie, model agencies beware!

Sleep Part Two- Gas, Grief, or Growing Pains (for us all!)

2009-06-09T07:12:00.000-04:00

We're tired but really blessed!

Adoption is not always easy, beautiful, or restful, but it is ALWAYS BLESSED (even at 4 am!).

We've done some work on the sleep issue and we know DOESN'T work. We're looking at this from a positive light as we're getting closer to a solution the more we weed out what's not working.

So, we think we've narrowed down the hysterical 4 am screaming fit to one of these three reasons, GAS, GRIEF, or GROWING PAINS. It's a cry like we've never heard out of Micah before and it doesn't happen every night. He arches his back, stiffens everything from head to toe, and WAILS. We've been using ibuprofen during these times and it seems to help. Gas doesn't really fit as it's ONLY at night and he doesn't have any other gassy symptoms.

Grief is something we know can happen even to happy, adjusted children but there's not much we can do other than love him through it. So, we're choosing not to stress about that and look at what we CAN work on. We hold and kiss him all day long. Love will eventually win this battle and I can honestly say I am resting in God's truth over this issue. Adoption exists because this world is fallen and broken. God has used us to fix holes in Micah's life and He is filling them one by one. We are the clay, he is the potter. Work on, Jesus!

Growing pains are our biggest suspicion. Micah was SO very malnourished that his body is completely out of proportion. He's in the 50th percentile for weight and head but only the 2nd for height. This is normal because the body's reaction to lack of food is to save the calories it does consume for the brain and organs. We think his body is finally catching up and beginning to grow. This can be very painful because of many reasons, the central nervous system is growing as well, lack of calcium in his early infancy, etc. So far we've only had this happen about 3 nights a week. We're thankful for that!

So here's what DOESN'T work for us.

-Crying it out, YET. We tried to let him cry for 10 minutes. After almost climbing out of his crib (I guess that was great motivation to pull up for the first time!!!) we noticed some serious attachment behaviors that we had NEVER seen before. He wouldn't look us in the eyes, wouldn't be comforted even by the bottle, wouldn't lie down with us or let us hold him. We're not willing to damage the trust and bonds we've developed with him just yet. So, this is a no-no for now.

-Sleeping all night with us. That boy is a future field goal kicker, I swear! He kicks all night long, sideways, hitting our backs with his super flexible little legs and feet. Not fun my friends but hysterical all the same.

Here's what we think IS working and the improvements we've seen.

-A consistent routine of bath, bottle, rock, bed has helped him get to bed around 9 each night. He sleeps until 1 or 2 before his first bottle. This is a good stretch!

-He comes into bed with us for the feeding at 2 am and eats on my chest. He goes right back to sleep and we put him back into his crib.

-A wedge has helped him sleep. For some reason the kid likes to be elevated on the top half of his body.

As for us, we're really trying to surrender this battle in prayer and kindness to one another. I'll admit that I am not a very kind wife at 3 am. Chad is sleeping on the couch for those nights that he feels he won't be able to work the next day if he doesn't. We make sure he gets at least 4 straight hours. We're also trying to spend time together each night talking and making strategy.

Me, I am really trying to use every moment I have awake with Micah at night to PRAY over him. There's so much I don't know about my precious son, so much I can't control. The answer to this is prayer. What a sweet time I have with him that will all too soon be gone! I am also trying to take hold of the truth that God's mercies are new every morning. Holding onto anger, frustration, guilt, grief, etc. is not helping my heart or my family. Each day I pray "Lord, do not let this day be wasted. Do not let me look away from you. Do not let me dwell on yesterday. Today is the day you have given to me. USE ME."

This has been wonderfully and painfully growing for me both spiritually and physically. But, oh the rewards! I can't wait until Micah is sleeping through the night and this is a distant memory but I refuse to waste this struggle, to ignore the blessings and challenges within it.

Adoption has taught me that. Even in the struggle there is so much to learn and see. We thank God for this time of hardship because we know our VIEW OF HIS GRACE is going to be so much bigger at the top of this mountain. Can't wait!

In this struggle I can see what God goes through for me daily. Do you trust me, Kim? Can you REST in my love and strength today? Do you believe I love you more than this world and that I am worth forsaking all? Do you know I will still love you when you cry and wail against my love, against my kindness, against my plan? All of this is breaking me down to be the wife, mother, human being that He wants be to be.

We want Micah to SURRENDER to our love. He just wants the same from us.

GROWING PAINS

Our Sleep Struggle

2009-06-05T07:58:00.000-04:00

I have hesitated to post this because a) it opens us up to criticism (everyone has an opinion on sleep and we're really doing our BEST!) and b) I don't want to discourage any adoptive parents who are not home with their kiddos yet.

DISCLAIMER: This is OUR journey only. Each child is different and in no way does our experience mean you will have a bad sleeper. ;0)

Now that that's out of the way....

Micah is the happiest baby we've ever met. Give him a spoon, bowl, and window and he's happy for hours. He's always shown signs of attachment including great eye contact, giving and receiving love to us alone, etc. We've been amazed at his transition...

DURING THE DAY. Micah does not sleep through the night. Not even close, actually.

He sleeps 4 hours then wakes up every hour wanting a bottle or to be held and SCREAMING. And I mean EVERY HOUR. By 3:30 he's in our bed and sleeps until 5:30. His wails are so loud and so sad for us. But, by 3:30, it's really frustrating. We're exhausted, he's exhausted, and we can't comfort him.

The difficulty with this is that we don't know WHY. Grief? Fear? Determined to sleep with us?

He won't take a full bottle each hour, so we know its not hunger (plus, have you SEEN him? ;0) He just wails and wails. We've tried keeping him in our room, not giving him the bottle, allowing him to cry in his crib (which wakes up older brother then we've got a real mess on our hands), music, noise, EVERYTHING we can think of.

And we're still walking dead. ;0) It's so sad. It's become clear that we are not yet his comfort, his bottle is. This is really scary and sad for us. What does this mean for his attachment to us? He's so happy all the time, are we taking this for granted? What other attachment/grief issues are we overlooking? If the bottle is his comfort, does he recognize us as his caregivers? What are we doing wrong? We kiss him, hold him, love on him ALL DAY. I held him so much the first month I virtually threw my back out (he's 24 pounds people!). Did this make any impact?

The questions and worries can drive you crazy, especially at 3:30 when you want to say (not in anger, but in sadness) "don't you know how much we love you? Can't you see what we've gone through to bring you home, what we've put Devon through?" This isn't fair to any of us, it just is. Patience is a luxury right now and difficult to access at 3:30.

He finally ends up in our bed and finds some peace there. We don't know if this is because he's so exhausted from the routine or because he really wants to sleep in between the only two people he really trusts right now. I wish he knew how loved he is! So many have loved him so well since his birth. How we wish we could communicate this to him, that this love would sink into his heart and help him feel secure (and sleep secure!).

Then you wonder what he's thinking. I can't imagine how he's feeling, how much he misses his nannies and the comforting sounds of other babies surrounding him, the smells, the sounds, the sights, the air, ETHIOPIA.

The fact is WE MISS ETHIOPIA after only 7 days so we know our little man must be heartbroken.

So, what do you do? Well, you pray first, then pray some more. Then you keep trying. Right now he's happily playing on the floor with Devon having completely forgotten the grief and struggle of last night.

I wish I could to.

Improvement

2009-06-04T10:19:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Our Favorite ET Pictures

2009-06-03T09:07:00.000-04:00

Our WONDERFUL, AMAZING, HUGE travel group.

Finally seeing these doors was an unbelievable moment.

This was taken by Sarah Moffat. To me, THIS IS ETHIOPIA.

Our Sweet Muluwork.

Good Friends, Good Times,

GIFTS.

I Wish I Had Known...

2009-06-02T21:14:00.000-04:00

There's so much that I thought I knew, so much I was sure of that has been turned on its head during this time of transition and growth. The Christian life is often about growing in ways that you do not want to, ways that you don't think you need, ways you never see coming.

So is adoption.

Man, I wish I had known...

That he'd be so fat! I wouldn't have worried as much about his health.
That Micah would be sick for 8 weeks and counting. Perhaps I would have bought stock in Motrin and Orajel.
That you can actually cut 5 teeth in 2 weeks while having a double ear infection and still smile (at least during the day time...sweet angel boy!!).
That Ethiopia would be terrifyingly and hauntingly beautiful, and tragic.
That I wouldn't sleep through the night for 10 straight weeks and still be required to keep 2 children alive.
That the pain and fear doesn't stop when you're little one is in your arms. Really, its just beginning.
That a mother's heart has an infinite capacity to love and nurture and a refined memory. The faces of the children in Ethiopia are seared into my heart.
That you can temporarily ruin the life of one child by saving another.
That the truth "God controls the heart" also applies to my 4 year old who simply does not have a heart of love for his sweet brother.
That my house will not be clean for longer than 10 minutes until my children are in college.
That the laundry pile is actually endless.
That following God's path to Micah would be so tough, so tiring even now that we are home.
That I would mourn deeply for the time I had lost with him even when I have him.
That I would mourn deeply and feel guilty for the time that his Birth Mother and Nanny are missing with him.
That my mourning for these women would bring me closer to my God and fill my heart with love for a child who has been loved so well by so many others before me.
That his smile pours light into every corner of a room, and our hearts.
That I would lose much of myself in the needs and demands of two covenant children.
That losing myself is wonderfully freeing and fulfilling.
That God's plans are indeed infinitely more than we can ask or imagine, but they are often excruciatingly painful.

That it is IN THIS PAIN that we are able to see how LOVED, CHERISHED, REDEEMED we are and that knowledge is worth it all.

Now you can't say you don't know...

Good Times ROCK!!!

2009-06-02T09:28:00.000-04:00

This is a great answer to baby brother, sharing, and bad sleep frustration!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Poop Position

2009-05-27T15:23:00.000-04:00

We can always tell when he'l need a change before the smell hits! Funny baby!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

2009-05-22T09:37:00.000-04:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Miracle Micah Can CRAWL!

2009-05-21T08:18:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Micah Moo!!!!

2009-05-20T21:16:00.000-04:00

Sunday was Micah Moo's 1st Birthday!

Happy Birthday Baby!

We had family over for a small party, bio family and ET family.

Three families from our agency, Stacklers, Crowells, and Kobys

including two that we traveled to ET with came to wish Micah a Happy Birthday.

It was an ET Hunk party!

Enjoy the pictures, it's all we have the energy for!

Post Cake Bath

I know this is out of order but it's SO CUTE I wanted it to be the blog thumbnail!

Cake is SO YUMMY!!

Megan and Steve came as did Amy Stackler and her kiddos. What a SWEET AWAA reunion it was. (Sorry for the picture Amy. You're in mid-sentence. It was all I had! You still love me...)

Loving my Cake!

Guess who can crawl?? This is his new walker. We can TOTALLY wait on that development!

Opening Presents

The sweet Kobys came with Mr. Happy, Elias. We LOVED LOVED LOVED having them over. Ethiopia seems like a dream and it's so nice to be with those who shared the experience, the dream with us. We love you Koby family!!

Our three ET HUNKS. Moo Moo, E-man, and Elias.

Micah LOVED his friends. I'm sure he wanted to eat them they're so cute!

Daring Boy

Smiley Boy

Laughy Boy

LOVED BOY!!!!

Our Love Story

2009-05-15T07:59:00.000-04:00

This has been a really tough week in this house for so many reasons. We're all still adjusting to the new rhythm our lives have taken, sometimes well, sometimes disastrously, but always feeling blessed (even at 2 am)!

Micah is sick again. He has a double ear infection and has cut 3 teeth this week. A fourth is on its way! He's fussier than normal but still so HAPPY! The real issue is that he is NOT sleeping by himself or for long periods of time. His naps are shortened because of the pain and he doesn't want to sleep until around 10 pm. Then he's up every 3 hours crying in pain. It's so hard to watch him frantic for a bottle, screaming in pain, so tired but fighting the sleep. This has been the hardest part of parenting Micah. He's been so sick since we got him home with only glimpses of his normal self every few days before the new sickness sets in.

Devon is doing much better. He still say things like "I want brother to go to his home." and "No, you're MY mommy." But all in all it's improving day by day. He's not in love with Micah at all but I know that will come with time. There are moments when his sweetness towards Micah shine through. We were in the car yesterday and Micah was fussing, to which Devon said "Brother, it's ok. We're almost there!" I felt so proud of him and was amazed at the work God is doing in his heart.

Devon gets tubes on Monday after years and years of ear infections, hear loss, and speech delays. Please be in prayer for this surgery, his recovery, and for a great speech therapist to surface!

I am struggling with my allergies quite a bit. It's hard to be tired all the time from a baby AND a histamine overload. There doesn't seem to be a medicine in the world that can make me feel normal. Even with 4 different meds I am simply in a FOG.

Chad and I are so amazed at how hard this is, how tiring. At every moment in the day there are needs that must be met. There's very little time for ourselves or our marriage. I know this will improve as time goes on and as we get used to one another. Right now we're in survival mode 50% of the time. Dying to yourself day in and day out is hard work!

But, the other 50% of our life is wonderful beyond compare! There are moments each day when we look at our two boys and are overwhelmed with their miraculous lives. We are writing our love story for them each day. Sometimes the scene is playing ball in the backyard when we're so tired we can barely lift our arms. Sometimes the scene is rocking a screaming child at 3 am, singing praises of love over his teary eyes.

We're not the perfect parents but we love them with all we are. They are our dreams and we are so proud to be parenting them.

Our children are the greatest blessings we could ever imagine. Neither of them should have lived. But, by God's grace and love our children are alive. They look nothing like us and we can take no credit for them. They are constant, living, breathing reminders of the amazing love and care of our heavenly father. To think he saved one child from abortion in New Jersey, and another from starvation in Africa, all with this day in mind. He knew the struggles we would face as parents, the trials of adoption and transition, our fears and insecurities and He loved us through them all.

And he is STILL loving us, caring for us this day. This is the greatest love of all, that he would love us this much. What an amazing love story!

URGENT PRAYER NEEDED FOR SEMLOW FAMILY

2009-05-10T17:22:00.000-04:00

Our dear friends the Semlow's are finally in ET with their kiddos! Visit their blog for great photos!

However, they found out the following today:

"We talked to Duni tonight (Sunday) and our visa paperwork for the kids has still not reached the Embassy. If it is not there by Wednesday, we will be delayed in coming home. :( Please, please PRAY BIG!!! We have seen God work miraculously many times before, and we are trusting him to do that again."

Please pray for this to happen ASAP!!!! The National Visa Center and USCIS have been battling over this for a while. It's RIDICULOUS and bureaucratic none-sense. Our God is bigger than this!

We are so thankful for all your prayers for our family and this wonderful family whose love and support has meant the world to us in our adoption.

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T08:41:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Semlows are ON THEIR WAY TO ET!!!!

2009-05-06T08:11:00.000-04:00

Hooray for the Semlow Family! They are finally on their way to bring home their three beautiful children, Isaiah, Josiah, and Lydia! We couldn't be more excited in this house for our dear friends. What a hard road they have walked with poise, strength, and faith. They are our adoption heroes!

Please pray for their safety, that ALL of the necessary paperwork would be in place while they are in ET, for the hearts of their children, and for health while they are in country.

We can't wait to see them in your arms, Semlow Family! We love you so and are praying you home!!!

URGENT NEED- NOW IS THE TIME

2009-05-05T11:39:00.000-04:00

You may not know this child...

But you know this baby, 7 pounds at 4 months old

His cries of hunger still resonate in my heart despite his amazing come-back!

This article and fundraiser DIRECTLY impacts babies we saw, held, and loved at America World's transitional home in Addis. Please help! If I could post pictures of these babies, I would!

From http://tomdavis.typepad.com/tom_daviss_blog/

May 04, 2009
URGENT NEED: Forumla Needed for Malnourished Babies in Ethiopia

Famine and poverty are increasing the rates of malnourished infant babies in Ethiopia. Children's HopeChest has worked with the America World Adoption Agency (AWAA) on projects in Ethiopia and Russia over the past five years. This request came to us from their transition home where they are receiving severely malnourished babies into their care. This month, in honor of mother's day, I want to raise $12,500 to provide specialized baby formula to this transition home for these malnourished babies. (Please put "Ethiopia Formula" in the note section of the donate page.]

To kick this off, a friend of Children's HopeChest has offered a matching gift for the first $500 we receive toward this project.

CLICK HERE TO DONATE

If you've ever wanted to help, NOW IS THE TIME!
If you've never wanted to help, NOW IS THE TIME!
If you have a full belly, NOW IS THE TIME!
If your kids have full bellies, NOW IS THE TIME!
If you believe every child deserves a chance, NOW IS THE TIME!
NOW IS THE TIME!

3 week Metchaversary- Video

2009-05-04T08:40:00.001-04:00

Here's video of the moment we met our Micah.

There were tears as we walked into the nursery but, as soon as we saw him, we felt complete peace and calm. It was as if he had always been with us.

We had prayed over and over for God to bind our hearts together despite the miles and days that separated us. He did and our first moments with him were sheer joy, redemption.

Video- Bubble Boys

2009-05-01T11:36:00.000-04:00

What a MIGHTY God we serve!!!

2009-04-30T07:53:00.001-04:00

Yesterday we spent 5 hours at CHOP (ugh!) and got a virtually clean bill of health for little Micah. So thankful!

The first part of the day was so neat. We saw the Dr. who originally advised us NOT to take his referral because of his severe malnutrition. I can't begin to go into the litany of illnesses and delays that she suspected he would have. She had never had a child referred to a family as small, as malnourished as Micah. She was scared for us and took it upon herself to advise us of what she believed to be the most responsible decision, a firm NO.

Yesterday, with a HUGE grin, she said how happy she was to be wrong and what a healthy, gorgeous baby he is. She was so encouraged by his joyfulness!

WHAT A MIGHTY GOD WE SERVE!

She was in awe of his development, health, and happy disposition. He's really healthy and his cognitive abilities are right on par for his age!

They ALL fell in love with him, as everyone does! He's a heart breaker and a record breaker!

We also saw an OT who stated that Micah is only behind in the area of gross motor (crawling) but that she expected him to improve within a few weeks. She signed us up for a study that is going to follow Micah's post-placement development and give us free OT and PT for him for 12 weeks. Awesome!!!

Micah had some issues with his eyes following the chicken pox so we also saw an Ophthalmologist. He was a very nice resident who will be moving on to Harvard next month! He was also in awe of Micah's health and vision. Children who are as malnourished as Micah was usually have major eye issues. Not so for our Miracle Baby!!

Finally, the worst part of the day, the labs. They took over 14 samples (small vials) of blood from Micah's arm. This was AWFUL as I had to hold him while he was screaming. I cried the entire time and really struggled with his tears and sadness. As soon as they were done, Micah drank a 6 oz bottle and began to smile and laugh at the lab tech. He stole a few more hearts there as well.

God is so good, my friends! I can't begin to tell you how scared we were to take Micah's referral. We knew that he was our son, that this was God's will, but we were terrified to step out onto the water and believe in FAITH that Micah would be perfect for us no matter what. With fear and tears (and many not so faithful worries ;0) we stepped out into the waves. We watched them overtake us over and over again as so much went wrong during Micah's time in Africa.

Now we know, now we see the MIGHTY hand and power of our Father, of faith. This storm was of God's making and design and was meant to show us His amazing power. We are so thankful for these crushing waves. We finally gave in and allowed our God to overtake us with his purpose. Instead of drowning, we found our lungs full of the breath of our God.

And that was worth it all.

Regression

2009-04-25T18:14:00.000-04:00

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Learning Curve, Schmurning Curve

2009-04-25T11:35:00.000-04:00

Everyone says there's a learning curve to new babies. I say BAH to that! Each time we think we've figured something out about Micah David, we often find out we're wrong. It's frustratingly humbling.

Oh, scratching his ear means he's tired. Nope, it means he's got chicken pox IN his ears. He loves to sleep on his side. Nope, he loves mommy to sleep on her side with the ERGO on and him in it.

I even get his clothing size wrong half the time and have to change him to find what fits. This REALLY makes him angry. So then I pick him up half naked and he begins to laugh and scratch victorious. Silly mommy.

And I've cleaned up more doodoo from my bathtub this week than I'd care to admit to.

Three cheers for chicken pox, teething, and blow-out diapers!

God is really keeping us on our toes and on the low rung of the super-parent ladder! This is a good thing ;0)

So, here's what we HAVE learned and are really thankful for.

Micah LOVES to eat, mostly anything including broccoli, mandarin oranges, bread, rice, and soup. His diaper, however, does not love all of these things.
Micah HATES to sleep lying down. Rather, he'd prefer to be in the ERGO carrier all night long while Mommy learns how to sleep standing up and sway at the same time. Hopefully this is just while he's sick.
Micah LOVES Griffin Dog. Griffin Dog LOVES Micah's diapers. Yum.
Micah HATES to have his nose wiped, his bottom wiped, anything wiped. He's prefer to be dirty, crusty, and smelly. Mommy, the neat Nazi, HATES this. Again, God has a sense of humor.
Micah LOVES all things plastic and noisy including plastic bags, wet wipes, cereal bags with the cereal in them, etc. He especially loves to dump out all of the cereal onto the floor then eat the bag.
Micah HATES being fed from a spoon. He does, however, LOVE to smack the spoon out of your hand and send various foods flying. This always produces a toothy grin.
Micah LOVES his new family and we ADORE him (well, Mommy and Daddy do, jury is still out for Devon Michael ;0)

We're also learning quite a bit about ourselves during this transition.

Parenting is about self-sacrifice (duh, but it takes on a whole new meaning when you are going to the bathroom with a child strapped to your chest.)
It is possible to sleep 3 hours, standing up, rocking side to side and still function the next day. Don't ask me to do long division though.
It is possible to have a filthy house and filthy children and not burst into flames.
Even after your four year old smears poop on your bed and draws all over your couch cushions, you will still love him and only want to kill him for a moment or two.
Four year olds eventually do warm up to little brothers, even if they make it their mission to hide all precious toys, candy, and noodles (Devon really loves noodles!)
You can love two children equally without sacrificing one for the other.
Nice, neat, clean life is over. Messy, filthy, chaotic life has begun.
We love our new life, mess, poop, pox and all!

Now he's a Kulp and pooptastic

2009-04-23T19:36:00.000-04:00

Boy bonding isn't complete without the wii.

This is a frequent conversation in our house.

Dev: mommy, what are you doing?

Me: changing brother's poopy diaper.

Dev: again? Man he stinks!

Then....

Dev: Mom, what's that in the tubby? Oh man, he pooped again. Now my toys are pooped!

Mom: sorry buddy babies are poopy a lot.

Dev: Yeah. Can we get one that doesn't poop on my toys?

Funny stuff, people, funny stuff.

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ISAIAH, JOSIAH, AND LYDIA ARE COMING HOME!!!!!!

2009-04-23T08:24:00.000-04:00

THESE ARE MIRACLE CHILDREN who came to AWAA with Micah Moo in August.

Sherry Semlow called me bright and early this morning with the good news. God has moved mountains and the Semlow sweeties are coming home. I had the great joy of spending time with them while in Ethiopia. They are PURE JOY and I can't wait to see them with their forever families. They are so ready to come home and we are praising God for his glorious redemption of these three beautiful kids.

I am crying TEARS OF SHEER PRAISE for this family as they are finally going to be together forever!!

Busy-Boy Isaiah- He found us in about 2 minutes and stayed with us the entire day.
His energy reminded me of Devon Michael. ALL BOY!

Josiah, Lydia, and Isaiah Semlow

Isaiah, Lydia, and Josiah (poor sweetie has chicken pox!)

Sweet Lydia Ayanne (who completely stole our hearts in 2 seconds). This little girl was so SAD in her referral pictures. Look at her now!

I wish I had a great picture of Josiah but the sweetie was just a little too sick while we were there to pose for pictures. He was NOT to sick, however, to guard his care package and candy like a doberman pincher!!!

Dust Bunnies, Exhaustion, and Transition OH MY!

2009-04-22T07:57:00.000-04:00

Hello! We are starting to emerge from our exhaustion induced hibernation! I've been trying to write this post for 2 days! If there were an adoption dictionary, the definition of post travel transition would be CHAOS and EXHAUSTION!! The house is a wreck, the laundry still not complete, the grocery list mounting...But, my sweet kids are fed, somewhat clean, and generally happy. I have sacrificed my need for order and cleanliness for a greater need, peace and SLEEP.

So, LOTS of changes in our house over the past few days. Micah is a dream, truly. He's getting up once a night and then up for good around 5-6. We're dog tired from the jet lag and all still trying to figure out our new roles and where we fit into this new family God has created. It's exhausting work, my friends!

We often say "God builds a house" and believe it to be true. Then, you SEE it happen in your life and it's amazing, more than words can explain. Micah is PERFECT for us. He's a happy baby, a great sleeper, and has many of the same triggers as his brother which make managing his meltdowns much easier for us as we are familiar with them (hates having his diaper changed, face wiped, waiting for food, sleeping alone, etc.) This is a real gift from the Lord. We couldn't be more in awe of his grace to us.

Micah is doing so well, we feel like he has always been a part of our family. We expected a much harder transition with him and are so thankful for his easy going nature. He's happy most of the time and really has begun to show signs of attachment. We went for a walk yesterday and when he saw the neighbors, he tucked his head into my neck and hid. I almost melted! He's also making great strides while taking his bottle. He looks us in the eyes now and will allow us to hold his bottle. He'll often play with our free hands while he's eating. He's a sweetheart and it takes about 3 seconds to fall in love with him.

It's a good thing Micah is adjusting so well because Devon Michael is having some issues ;0) I can hear the screaming right now. Sharing Mommy and Daddy has been so tough and sharing toys is nearly impossible. Yesterday he hit us many times out of frustration. We are trying to be patient and help him with this transition but it is so hard when we're exhausted and have no energy.

We aren't sure how to comfort him or help him fall in love with Micah as we have. He is grieving the loss of our family as it used to be. This is heartbreaking for us to watch.

Much of what he is experiencing we experienced during our wait for Micah. We had all the hardships of being Micah's parents without any of the benefits. Devon is experiencing all the hardships of having a brother without the benefits. Micah can't play with him, he can't swing or throw a ball. Micah takes up time from Mommy and Daddy without putting back into the family in a way that Devon can understand. This is so tough for Devon and he needs so much grace and love, so much more than we thought and were prepared for. This has been our biggest struggle yet and we are still trying to adjust our parenting, intentionally planning reactions, play dates, etc. to minimize and help the adjustment process.

Did I mention that this is EXHAUSTING??!!

Chad is doing pretty well. What he is struggling with most is the complete lack of free time and personal space. His exhausted wife is a bit frustrating as is his 4 year old who wants to jump and wrestle all the time ;0). He's been hurt physically more times in the past 4 days by Dev than in 4 years. Oh, and there's the constant wiping of butts and anti-bacting of hands that is becomming quite annoying.

I'm still struggling with my stomach. It vacillates between pain and ache. I am sure my system just needs some time to adjust after our 10 day trip around the world and back again. If I felt well, we'd be doing just great. Until then, I'd say we're at about 75%.

I am also struggling a bit with my new role as Mommy of two. Whose needs come first? How do I choose between the 4 year old who can verbalize his needs and the 11 month old who cant? If I have to choose, does it mean I am sacrificing one for the other? I wish I had four arms instead of the two exhausted ones I have!

Honestly, I am the one struggling with the orphanage dust bunnies, not Micah! I feel the desperate need to undo all that 11 months of no parents has done to Micah. I am judging myself and Micah's reactions constantly against an invisible and unrealistic attachment yard stick. If I let him cry then he won't attach to me. If I don't meet his needs immediately, then he won't know I'm his mommy. If I yell or overreact, then he'll want her (Muluwork) back and not want me. These are absurd lies but they are ringing in my ears.

I am constantly whispering over and over again what my sweet friend Bethany Taylor said on her blog in January, when it comes to adoption and attachment, "time and truth are on my side." I wish this phrase would sink into my heart more quickly. As it stands, it seems like the space between my head and heart is the length of a marathon that I do not have the energy or wherewithal to run.

Yet, as I type, I can hear the sweet snore of my new baby boy and I feel overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness. Why did God choose us to parent this miracle child? How can we stand up to this task? It's very tempting to feel defeated and like a failure already.

But, time and truth are on my side and YOURS, my friends! I am going to fail. That's the beautiful truth of parenting. And when we do fail, we can point our eyes and the eyes of our children towards the one who never will. What peace this brings to my Mommy heart.

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so.

Devon helps his brother with "ashes" on his face

2009-04-21T16:21:00.000-04:00

Poor sweet angel!

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Can I hold brother? Before and after!

2009-04-20T13:11:00.000-04:00

Fun times for us, not so much for little Micah Moo!
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We're Home- Pictures and Video

2009-04-19T21:07:00.000-04:00

(Micah Moo eating, his favorite part of the day! He's a messy little man!)

Home is certainly where the heart is this day! Our hearts are full and blessed.

We're all under one roof and a mostly happy little family! We've each had a few meltdowns which are to be expected given the weight of what we have accomplished over the past few days. Micah does not cry often but he HATES his car seat. This battle is one we hate but it's so necessary.

We're all still figuring each other and our new roles out but it seems to be going well. Yesterday Devon didn't want to look at Micah but he has since warmed up to him and now checks on him continually.

We're exhausted beyond explanation. The jet lag and having double the work, double the needs to meet, double the messes has left us with very little energy. So, here's what you really want! More writing to come, promise!

Kim

Loving the car rides in Ethiopia and being held, not restrained by a car seat!

Uncle Robel LOVES his Micah Asrat and played with him all week. He cried when we left, he has such a sweet heart and soul. We have the utmost respect and love for this servant of God!

Loving his bath time and Mama's touch!

Daddy love is so precious and FUN. He loves to play and laugh with his favorite man!

We're driving home!

2009-04-18T15:13:00.000-04:00

Guess how Micah decided to welcome his new homeland? It took him all of 15 minutes to puke up his entire bottle all over our car. I guess Robel was right, ET babies aren't meant for car seats. He's sure cute though!

He did great on the plane but hasn't slept much and is totally off schedule. This is something a few days camped out at home will surely remedy.

We can't wait to see the boys meet! We'll post those pictures tonight!

Forever family is forthcoming!

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Last Day in Ethiopia/Bonding and Grief

2009-04-17T10:21:00.001-04:00

So, we leave in about 1 hour. We are finally coming home with our Miracle Micah!!!

We are SO READY to be home but we have loved every minute in this country. I struggle trying to explain the feeling to you. It's like there is a string now tied to our hearts that will forever connect us, across time and oceans and miles, to this beautiful land. Our beloved is from this land, from these people, and we are forever part of this nation and it forever a part of us.

Today we visited a coffee factory and did last minute shopping. This was my favorite day so far as I love coffee and shopping and Micah Asrat has been purely giddy all day! I hope this lasts through the flight!

Yesterday was a hard day. Learning to be baby-parents again has been tough but learning to parent a child who is 11 months (TODAY!!) and whom we just met is really really hard. Micah was fussy off and no and was showing clear signs of confusion and grief. When I would try to feed him, he would smack at my face and not look me in the eyes. This was new to us and so heartbreaking. Chad has begun to feel the funk so I was on my own during much of the morning fussiness. It's hard to know how to react. I know it's normal and important but I also know it's hurtful and hard to see.

We have loved Micah Asrat for 2 years. We have cried, prayed, dreamed, hoped for him for so long. We have suffered again and again as our journey became rough with court problems and paperwork nightmares. With each day, we were bonded more and more to him.

But he does not know us! He doesn't know how we have ached for him or how many tears we have cried. He doesn't know that he is staying with us forever and that he will never be alone again. This knowledge will take time and will slowly seep into every nook and cranny of his heart. But, in the meantime, our hearts ache for him and our heads are spinning at times as to how to care for him.

Figuring him out has been the toughest part of this journey. Does this cry mean hunger or exhaustion? What does he need now? We often find ourselves in complete disarray at the warning signals he is obviously giving but that we cannot translate.

We have learned one thing for sure, the kid LOVES FOOD. He's territorial over it and is never as happy as when he gets it. He is frantic for his bottle and gives little warning before a complete hunger meltdown ensues. This is really the only time he ever cries. But man, can he WAIL! I wonder how long he cried for food before he was actually fed as a baby? How often was my sweet, happy Tanker starving?

So I whisper over and over again into his sweet ears, "O De halo, Micah Asrat, and you will never be hungry again."

Thank you God for helping our family to keep this promise. We are blessed to overflowing and so humbled by your grace to this amazing miracle baby.

Found in Translation

2009-04-15T14:51:00.001-04:00

It's so hard to process all that we have seen, all that we have experienced in this beautiful country. Today we spent 3 hours at the Consulate on a hot day in a very overcrowded, full room. So many of us were feeling ill from the heat and wait that we had to wait outside. It was not a fun experience but not ONE child cried or was cranky. The kids are adjusting so well, including our Micah!

And yet, for so many of us, today has been the day that reality has set in. No longer are we waiting for our children. They are in our arms and we are now a family. This reality comes with great joy and great hardship.

TODAY I REALIZED IN A REAL AND CONCRETE WAY THAT I DO NOT KNOW THE CHILD I LOVE, THE CHILD I CALL MY SON.

The waiting has ended and the learning has begun. And I am learning much about Micah that I did not expect. He is a social guy in small groups, hates hats and potatoes, and really loves FOOD! I mean he loves food to the point that he will eat anytime, anywhere, most anything even if he gets sick.

Still, there is so much that I don't know that, at times, I am completely overwhelmed. When we went to the restaurant the first night, the waiter asked what I wanted for the baby, and we had no idea. I almost began to cry! I don't know the songs he likes, I don't know what he smiled at last week, I don't know what it felt like to be starving and then to be loved and cared for by a woman who is now absent from my life. What I do not know about my son breaks my heart and scares me to death. How do you parent a child you do not know? What language do you speak?

Will my love translate?

What I have found is beautiful. The same words that speak to my heart in the US ring true here. I often feel isolated as I am away from the close friends and family that know me well enough to see what I am feeling without explanation. I would love to have my Sherry or Ashley or my Mom with me right now. Without them, I still have my husband and my God and this is enough.

I keep clinging to what I do know. I know that we love BOTH of our sons with all our heart and that they were made for our family. I know that I serve and love a God who is bigger than my fears and failings. I know that my God would not bring me to Ethiopia only to abandon me with a child I do not know. What I do know is so much greater than what I do not. God knew what I could handle and I praise him for his mercy.

This evening we came home to dinner and were greeted by a small group of Spanish families adopting toddlers. One child was hysterical. I have never seen such a reaction and my heart is broken for this little boy. I tried to comfort his crying mother with my broken Spanish. I even tried to use Mehelet to speak to him. I felt powerless and heartbroken to see a little guy who looks so much like my Devon Michael so sad. I wonder how much he has lost, how many times he has cried like this alone, how many scars, tears, bad dreams, sicknesses went untreated. Does he even know what it means to be loved? Do we know what it means to be loved, truly loved as we are by our God? I watched his mother carry him up the stairs as he cried and fought her, screaming for something none of us can understand.

I told his mother "Necisistas tiempo y amore." He needs time and love. So do I. This journey has been so hard, so long, so draining. Here, at the end (but really the beginning) I feel stripped bare and exposed.

I know my God has held me so many days and nights throughout this journey as I, just like this child, screamed and fought him. He LOVED me even though I couldn't understand His love. He cared for me even though I couldn't see His tenderness. He prepared a home for Micah and prepares one for me even though I do not deserve it. So many times on this journey I have felt alone, a scared child just screaming for someone to explain the pain, to fix what was broken. I was UNDONE by this adoption.

But here, in Ethiopia, as I watch my sweet son sleep and can no longer hear the screams of that sweet toddler, I realize that I have found translation at last, and that it has been the making of me.

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so.

More Pictures and Update

2009-04-15T02:38:00.001-04:00

Hey All!

We had such a blessed night with Micah Asrat. He's a joy boy and never cries unless he's hungry or you take away the wet wipes (obsessed with the sound of the bag and the color yellow!). We can't believe how wonderful he is and how God has worked in his life. He has spared us from so much in the time that we waited for Micah.

From Sept to January the Nannies called Micah "Alquato?" which means unhappy or crier. He's now called "LOVE" at the TH! They all love him so much and cried when he left. He is such a joy. He's so cute he looks like he's made of rubber like a baby doll!

He did very well last night and slept from 9-5 then wanted a bottle and was wide awake. I am normally a person who needs lots of sleep but I have done so well since being here. This is God's GRACE (just ask my mother or husband ;0) I could stare at him forever and didn't mind at all being woken up at 5, even without coffee! I am still having stomach pains and haven't found the cause so I'm drinking lots of water, taking activated charcol, and sticking to carbs. Hopefully it will get better.

The internet is beyond slow and takes about 10 minutes to post 1 email. Pictures took me an hour last night. BRING A MAC!!! They work well. Facebook is really hard unless you're up at 3 am!

Ok, prayer requests. First, Micah does have Chicken Pox and chest congestion. However, he's not scratching and is so happy that we're not worried. The forced air on the airplane is a concern however. Please pray for a safe and restful trip ( we're flying at night).

Also, the Koby baby is sick, please pray for him. The Bartell's paperwork may or may not be at the Embassy. They've contacted their state rep and they say it's now there. Pray that it is!!!!

Finally, pray for peace and calm over the last 3 days. We are ready to be home with Devon Michael and miss him so much. I am fearful for his safety (control freak!!) at times and just want to be with both of my boys. We both cried when we talked with him last night.

Love you,

Kim

First Meeting!

2009-04-14T15:15:00.000-04:00

Gotcha Day- Meeting the HAPPIEST Baby Ever!

2009-04-14T15:06:00.001-04:00

Guess who's sleeping soundly, smiling, in his bed? Even when he sleeps, he smiles. I'm not kidding, he's the happiest baby ever! Not a tear, not a whimper until we tried to take his bottle away. Tank lives up to his reputation! We have so much video of him laughing and talking. He says "Ah Boom" and "dadadadada" which is so unfair! His hair is so long but wound into tight springs by Muluwork. She loves him so!

Today was amazing, hard, incredible, sad, happy...you get it, right?! Muluwork, Micah's nanny was crying when we got there and didn't really stop for most of the day. When we got there, she had placed stickers that say "love" all over his face. We were overwhelmed with her love for him. We allowed her to have him for much of the 3 hours we were there and show us how to care for him in the way that she has, the way that has made him so secure and happy. She is a jewel, a sweet 18 year old girl who loves our Micah so much his picture is on her phone. Through tears she made me promise to send pictures and I told her how much she means to Micah. She will always be in our hearts. We were both crying when we left her as we drove away.

It was a surreal experience and one I will never forget.

We're doing really well but miss Devon like crazy. We're ready to have Micah and Devon together. Tomorrow is the consulate appointment and then Thursday is a free day. Friday we fly home at night. We're so pleased with how this trip has gone. It's a miracle how well we've done and how wonderful its been for us. We can't wait to come home but also to come back!

I also read on our yahoo group that the Semlows got a court date NEXT WEEK!!!! God is so good as I was sobbing as I left them today. I have so much love for them in my heart and can't wait to hear that they have passed court. LOVE YOU SHERRY!!! Congrats!

On to the notes for families.

Edith- F is GORGEOUS, smiley, healthy, has great color, and loves to be held. I held her for a while and kissed on her for as long as I could before she needed to eat. She was dressed in the cutest outfit and sweater and I brought along a surprise to make her extra girly! You're going to love that girl!

LA Jaime- B is shy and just learning to walk. She has the softest hair and the sweetest grin but I only saw a few and couldn't get them on camera. She waddled around holding my hand for the longest time. She loves to play with toys and is very quick to let anyone who gets near them know that they are invading her territory. If I could have, I would have taken her home with me!

Amy and William- N's just perfect for your family. His curls and smile are the sweetest and he runs well. The outfit you sent with Megan fit perfectly and man does he look great in blue!

Low's- B is so sweet, but so serious and a bit shy! He warmed up once I gave him the bubbles I brought him! I got 1 smile out of him but not on camera. He was scared of the bubbles but eventually started to play. We have great video, not that great pictures. He's one of a kind, dark and GORGEOUS just like our Micah. His belly is so sweet and I rubbed it over and over again!

Jacksons- Your little man was sleeping while I was there, so stinking sweet! I have a great sleeping shot but Rovangs got great photos for you. He's healthy and precious.

Sherry- YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!! Your 3 are so fun and so ready to come home. Josiah is looking better but you can tell that he is not feeling great. He didn't say much but was VERY vocal when someone tried to take the spiderman car I brought him. Let me tell you, he knows how to scare loiterers off! He loved the glasses and made me open the candy immediately. His curls are so soft and he's a joy. Isaiah was a bit shy with me until I showed him the car and he saw the gun you sent. We have great video of him shooting some of the kids :-) He's BUSY and happy, all over the place and knows how to play. Lydia is a gem. She's so outgoing and smiley. I just adore her beyond words. She loved all her gifts and carried them around for the rest of the day. She's smiley and focused on what she wants. She ate her skittles slowly, showing me every bite. I was chewing gum so she mimicked me and chewed her skittles just like gum. She is adorable and her CURLS are growing back! They are gorgeous and soft. You're going to DIE for her belly!

Cut Off, Read Below First

2009-04-13T16:32:00.001-04:00

Silly non-American key board!!!!!

Sherry- I adore them and so will you. They are busy, loving, a bit shy, and full of energy and I wouldn't have it any other way and neither will you. My dear friend, YOU are the only thing I am missing on this trip (and my little Devon but that would never have worked!!) How can I say on the computer how much your children love you and how special you are to me? I can't wait to be the one wishing and dreaming that I was in ET with you. CHOOSE TRUTH love. What is true, they are loved, they are cared for, they are waiting with open hearts and arms AND SO ARE YOU! Your Father's arms are open for you friend, even when I can't hug you myself! Love you so.

DEVON MICHAEL- You're brother is waiting for you. We miss you so much it hurts our hearts. Mommy can't think of you without crying but I know you're having a blast at Mimi and Pop-pops. We'll be home soon darling!!!

Everyone else, it's mass chaos at the TH.

Alecia R.- Watch out, arranged marriage is in our kids future. They are IN LOVE!!! Everyone at the TH says they are boyfriend and girlfriend. He's twice her size and full of lovin' so she'll be in great shape when they get older. T's curls are to die for.

Edith- F. looks healthy and SWEET! She has excellent color and can hold her own bottle. She's a fighter, the nannies said, and looks much better than most of the little one's her size. I'll hold her tomorrow for you and kiss her up and down.

Amy and William- N is just precious and about 18 months looking. His curls are soft and I couldn't stop touching them. I only saw him for a moment, it was nap time. He's healthy, a bit shy, and SO perfect for miss Lucy!

Everyone else, it's MASS chaos at the TH with courtyards, rooms, etc. I will find my picture kids tomorrow and kiss them to pieces, PROMISE. I know what you need...

Everyone else, it's mass chaos at the TH.

HOW GREAT THE LOVE THE FATHER HAS LAVISHED ON US....

Must sleep, arms tired from Tank-use. More tomorrow...

Love you all so much.

METCHA DAY- SMILES, NICKNAMES AND CHICKEN POX

2009-04-13T16:23:00.001-04:00

I don't even know how to begin this post I am so tired and so excited at the same time. Though I crave sleep, I need to get this all out. First of all, there are so many of us that I can't get pictures up until tomorrow morning. Rest assured that, if we have power, you will see our Tongue Beast!

They are keeping us SO BUSY (eating, paperwork, shopping, more eating, etc. We are the only people we know who will be coming home having gained weight in Africa!) so, sorry to my stalkers out there who have been waiting all day!

Today was magical, surreal, perfect, GOD ORDAINED BLESSED!!! I was not nervous as much as excited and nauseated. Chad was Chad, only with a bigger smile ;0)

I didn't cry all that much which I am proud of! When we got to the TH Duni told the bus (that's right, we're such a large group we're in a BUS) that KULPS would be going first. We are so excited. However, sweet Micah David was sleeping in the TH! So, Chad and I left the group and walked into a large room with cribs, couches, babies, nannies, etc. He was all the way in the back sleeping like an angel. He had his feet together (NO muscle tone at all) and was so gorgeous. I began to rub his belly and he opened his eyes.

What can I say? He is the most perfect child for our family that we could ever imagine. He rarely gave us the typical Micah skeptical look but was sleepy for a little while. Once he warmed up, man oh man, ALL SMILES!!! That's right, the baby who NEVER smiles smiled for his mommy from the very beginning. Not a tear, not a whimper, just smiles and laughter. He loves his daddy as well. He grabs at everything and is SO curious. He dances, claps, laughs, and smiles...

ALL WITHOUT PUTTING HIS TONGUE IN HIS MOUTH, EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, first nickname given by Mommy and Daddy, tongue beast. Second name, given by the group. TANK. He is a TANK my friends- fat rolls galore, bigest belly ever, 12 month clothing TANK. What's so amazing about this fact? When asked, his nanny (the GORGEOUS young one Muluwork who loves him so much she has his picture on his phone) said "He was so malnourished, we expected him to die."

MIRACLE MICAH. We are in complete awe. Love seems to small and finite a word for how we feel about this child. He is God's painting of Redemption.

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO!!! My loves, we are SAYING SO tonight. My favorite moment of the day was watching my sweet man hold his new son and say, with tears in his eyes, "He's perfect, just perfect for us."

He is a joy boy and we were sad to leave him. We will be even sadder to leave his nanny tomorrow. Please PRAY for Muluwork and her heart. She loves him so and wispers in his ear all day "Asrat, O' dehalo" or Asrat, I love you. Breaks my heart and fills it at the same time. How is this possible?

Also, please pray for Micah David and the other children at the TH. Mommy, Micah has Chicken spots. Davie will have to stay away. No worries my friends, he'll be just fine. Dev has already been vaccinated and we've both had it before.

Also, please pray for my stomach as I am having lots of pains tonight.

On to the notes. At this point Iam going to just ramble from exhaustion. The TH is big and roomy with empty rooms. The nannies are pure love. The children are happy and loving (even with chicken spots).

Sherry- Sorry we got cut off. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY and can't begin to express my love for your children. They are PURE LOVE

Sunday In Ethiopia----HAPPY EASTER

2009-04-12T14:30:00.001-04:00

We are doing so well! We feel blessed to be here and are still loving this land and those we are traveling with. We are a bit tired but realize that the altitude is playing into this as is the 24 hours of sleep deprivation. No illnesses as of yet. Please pray that this continues! We are as impressed and in love with the coffee as we hoped to be and cant wait to purchase many pounds (40??) to bring home. We might as well, we're completely ruined!

Today we visited Entoto mountain to see the best view of the city and listen to a traditional service. The hike up the mountain was tough because of the altitude but we so enjoyed the view! We then visited 3 different markets to purchase gifts, souviners, and traditional clothing. The Jacksons, Watsons, and Moffats arrived while we were gone and we finished the day with dinner at Zebra Grill. It was a wonderfully full day and kept my mind off of tomorrow.

Of course, we are all super excited to meet our kiddos tomorrow. I can't believe I just typed that word...TOMORROW! The only word that might make my heart leap higher is TODAY!! We got a new photo of Micah David today in the Christmas outfit we sent him. He is cuter than words can say! I have attached it and hope it sends!

We are also growing already in the 36 hours we have been here. I am so overwhelmed with God's great mercy and kindness to us. It's a good emotional (if this makes sense). The eyes of our hearts are being opened.

We are surrounded by joy and kindness but also poverty on a level that is unimaginable. Women carrying hungry babies, children begging everywhere with broken shoes or barefoot, the disabled. all deserving of love and a full belly and yet many of them left hungry for both.

Why were we chosen to live such a blessed, easy life when so many others were given hardships beyond understanding? Why do so many prosper and so many more suffer? I knew this was the reality I would face, but have come to realize that there is no preparing for it.

What offering can I give to my merciful God now that I know how much he has spared us from, even more, what He has spared our Micah David from in this life? I am filled with awe, humility, and gratefulness that is bringing me to tears often.

I am also surprised at the sadness I feel to take Micah David away from such a beautiful land and such amazing people. Ethiopia is his gorgeous home and I am more in love with this country than I could have ever imagined. To know that I will hold my son tomorrow, just one day after celebrating that my great God gave His son. What an amazing picture of grace that He has chosen to give to us after so many trials and tears.

I am in such awe of God's kindness to our family in all of these ways and so thankful for his mercy this Easter day.

Made It to Ethiopia!!!

2009-04-11T05:38:00.001-04:00

We made it safe and sound to Ethiopia.

No problems, no lost bags, no hitches.

GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

The flight was awful, painful, murder but SO WORTH IT!!! When we touched down, we were both tearing (ok, Kim was full out bawling!). The visa and customs lines were long and the chaos that ensues when you exit the airport is more than overwhelming. So many hands out, so many sounds, so much smog!

However, the weather is GORGEOUS and we are so in love with this country and these beautiful people already. We also LOVE the Luncefords, Duboise, and Koby families and can't wait to connect with the other crew. It's been a fun 24 hours already!

We are overwhelmed to have come so far in this journey. This adoption has been so tough and much of our tears are in remembrance of what trials and pain we have walked and what joy is to come.

Sherry, Kevin, and Girls- we wish you were here! You're going to LOVE this country.

Saturday Crew- we are at Addis View because of water issues at Yesabe. Bring hair dryers and exchange money at the airport to give tips to the wonderful staff. 20-30 burr is typical.

Can't wait to meet our boy in 2 days. I am still in awe that we are here and of God's amazing mercy to us already on this trip.

Our mourning has surely turned to dancing and we are so blessed!!!!!

Flying High

2009-04-10T17:42:00.000-04:00

(posted by Sherry)

Kim called this morning and wanted me to post that they were ON the plane.

They had some issues with the shuttle man from the airport refusing to take them, since they had so many bags. They ended driving their car to airport parking, rather than leaving it at the park-n-fly hotel. Then one of their bags was overweight. When they went to redistribute items amongst their bags, an airport security man started yelling at them, so they left everything as it was, and the Ethiopian Air rep waived the overage fees.

They had met up with the Luncefords and Dubose at the airport and were all excited to be on their way.

Kim said the plane was fairly full, but no one was in the middle seat in her and Chad's row, so they were looking forward to being able to stretch out a bit.

The next time we hear from them, they will be in the same city as Micah. Praise the Lord!!

Quick Stop at AWAA and Bags

2009-04-09T17:01:00.000-04:00

We made good time to VA and decided to stop at AWAA to meet our kind guide during our court journey, Anna Graham. The office is gorgeous and so are the staff, sweet souls! Now its off to the hotel and a night to ourselves, the last one for quite a while I imagine!

Check out our trunk! Chad is a genius at packing the car. What you can't see is a sweet infant car seat just waiting for Micah David!

The only thing missing is my sweet friend Sherry right beside me.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

On our way!

2009-04-09T12:36:00.000-04:00

We're in the car on our way to DC! The car is so weighed down with luggage it's sagging! So many donations came in this week. Saying goodbye to Dev was very hard but we're so excited to finally be on our way to our Micah Moo! More to come!

Kim
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Ch-ch-ch-changes..Our Last Night As Three

2009-04-08T19:41:00.000-04:00

Tonight is bittersweet. We have had a joyous time eating pizza, dying mister eggs ;0), and playing as a family. Despite our joy, Chad and I are fully aware of the weight of this evening.

This is our last night as a family of three. Wow, even writing that is heavy.

Our family has enjoyed 4 years of blessing, laughs, and smiles with our sweet son Dev. He's such a light, our sunshine, and has a smile that lights our day. We can't imagine our life without him and are so filled with love for him this night.

Devon is only four so his understanding of what is about to happen in his life is limited. He knows we are leaving on an airplane for a "long time" and that we will return with "Baby Brother Micah" in a week. He knows where he will be and who will care for him and he is truly excited.

But he has NO IDEA how much his life is about to change. He has been at the center of our universe for 4 years. I will not apologize for this because I wouldn't change it. We waited years for him and have enjoyed him as much as possible. He has been raised to believe that others come first but in a home where his needs are immediately met and love is always available within the second. We have no illusions-- this is going to change.

I expected the stress, the sadness of leaving Dev, the joy and anticipation of parenting a baby again. I did not expect the feelings of longing that I have this evening.

I wish I could freeze this moment in time. I wish it could last for much longer. My two boys and I enjoying our family as it is this moment. It's not that I don't want my baby boy, I do more than anything. But I am full of another baby boy this night, the baby I have rock-rocked every day for four years. The baby who will smile and say "Mommy, I love you so much!" for no reason and without prompting. The miracle who came into our lives and brought so much healing and light.

Devon, as we add to our family in a week and you work to find your new place as a big brother, know that Mommy and Daddy love you more than our hearts can hold. We are overwhelmed with joy and pride when we see you, not because we made you, because we did not. Rather, because we have been given such a gift to care for and enjoy.

Thank you for the laughs, for your sweet spirit, and for your intuitive empathy. You are our joy and we are in love with you always.

Testing 123

2009-04-08T07:52:00.001-04:00

If this works, then we'll be able to email blog entries from Ethiopia.

YEAH FUN!!!!

Because We Can- Unimaginable Joy

2009-04-07T23:05:00.000-04:00

We're going to be holding this little peanut in less than a week.

Unbelievable Journey, Unimaginable Joy!

Packing, Preparing, Praying, POOPED!!!

2009-04-07T18:25:00.000-04:00

The fact that I am typing tells you that we have some energy left, but MAN ARE WE TIRED!

The MARATHON that has been this week is exhausting. On top of work, packing, parenting, preparing, shopping, packing some more, we have added Doctor's visits, dentist appointments, an Easter celebration with Devon, etc.

The packing is almost done (well, it WAS done but Mr. wants to separate stuff into separate bags in case we lose one bag but didn't tell me this brilliant idea until we were totally packed ;0). We've have a total of 7 bags, three ours, 4 donation items. That's a LOT of baggage.

We are finally surrendering to what we have learned throughout this entire adoption process, we are NOT IN CONTROL and never will be. You'd think we would have learned this over the past few months!

I don't have the energy for well thought out, long winded prayers. So, here you go.

-God, we need sleep.

-Please use your supernatural power to clear the snot out of our noses.

-Help us not die on the trip or flights.

-Help the baby we have loved for so long to love us back at some point.

-Help the son we have loved for 4 years to love his new little brother Micah and not make it his mission in life to kill Micah or at least maim him so that Micah can't touch his toys.

-Help us not to kill one another on the 18 hour flight.

-Please allow our bags to make it to Ethiopia in one piece, or if we lose one for it to be Chad's. ;0)

-Most of all, use us as you see fit, only we're pretty sure we could be of better use if we don't have diarrhea.

AHHHHH! WE'RE GOING ON FRIDAY!!!!!!

2009-04-06T13:29:00.000-04:00

Miracle news!

Our paperwork is almost finished in Ethiopia and we have been cleared to leave on FRIDAY! We'll be holding our Micah in 1 week. Praise God!

Pray for us! Pray for travels, safety, calm, peace, protection from illness, etc.

Ok, no more time to type, time to get PACKED!!!

Madness of the BEST KIND! 90% A Go!!!

2009-04-04T07:27:00.000-04:00

We're so OVERJOYED to be 90% sure we're leaving on Thursday, and OVERWHELMED!!!

Yesterday I spent the day doing laundry, printing out the paperwork we need to take with us, packing for Micah David, packing for us, packing for Devon (going to Mimi's for the week), and making lists that keep growing and growing! It's madness of the BEST KIND.

I also attended a travel conference call with our agency that went through our basic itinerary, what we need to bring, paperwork, do's and don'ts of culture, etc. Because we've been planning to go for so long I knew most of what was discussed but it's nice to officially hear it all anyway.

So, how can you pray for us in all of this madness? Here's what's really on our hearts amidst all of this flurry of activity (i.e. what we're ignoring!!!).

We're only 90% sure we're going. The other 10% is driving us bonkers. Pray for peace, calm, and INTENTIONAL thought capturing.
Kim's back is a wreck because of illness, stress, etc. Please pray for the 17 hour flight!!!
Dev has an appointment with an ENT Dr. to discuss tubes and have his hearing checked this week, 2 days before we leave. Please pray that the information we receive will calm our fears rather than heighten them.
AFRICA!!!! There are so many variables, so many unknowns, so much OUT of our control.
Bonding with Micah David who is VERY attached to his Nanny.

We obviously have a choice to make. We can either be joyful and give control to God (who has it anyway). Or, we can be stressed and try to hold on to the illusion of control that is both deceitful and damaging. WE CHOOSE JOY!

To think we could be holding Micah in 10 days. WOW! That's worth every stress imaginable!

MIRACLE NEWS FOR SEMLOW FAMILY

2009-04-03T13:59:00.000-04:00

WE ARE REJOICING IN THIS HOUSE TODAY! ISAIAH, JOSIAH, AND LYDIA SEMLOW ARE COMING HOME SOON!!!!!

Our great friends, the Semlow Family, who has walked every step of this journey with us as their three sweeties are also from the orphanage in the South that Micah David is from, received great news today. They have EVERY STINKING SIGNATURE NEEDED to transfer their children to the new orphanage and petition for a court date next week.

Please continue to pray that they receive an expedited court date and that they are able to travel ASAP. They have been waiting since September along with us.

PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pray for our ADOPTION DECREE

2009-04-02T18:49:00.000-04:00

There is a BUZZ around our house that is palpable!

We are waiting on 1 piece of paperwork to come in before we are 100% sure we can leave next week. Right now, the agency is 85% confident that we can go. We would be leaving Thursday night, driving down to DC to stay with friends and then fly out to Ethiopia on Friday morning. We would arrive in Ethiopia at 8 am in time to spend a fun day shopping and getting adjusted to the time change.

Please pray that we can go next week! We are SO READY to be with our little guy. We've really begun to ache for him in ways we didn't expect since passing court.

We feel so BLESSED to be given the opportunity to travel so quickly and be with Micah so soon. Hopefully we will be with him in 10 days!!!!!!!!!

Meet Miracle Micah David---- WE PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-31T17:20:00.000-04:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

COURT TONIGHT WHILE WE SLEEP!!!!!!!!

2009-03-31T12:12:00.001-04:00

"Our HOPE is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and rightousness."

Tomorrow, no matter what the outcome, our hearts will not be sick because our hope will not be deferred. Our HOPE is in our God and the victory he has already claimed for our son, for our family, for our very lives.

We are fervently praying that we can claim God's victory over Micah David's life tomorrow and share him with you. Please pray this with us!

This journey has been so long but we have not walked one step alone. Our PORTION has been with us every step, every day, darkness and light, pain and joy, through it all.

Our God has gone before us in this battle and we are walking peacefully in His big, comforting shadow!

"The Lord has promised GOOD to me, His word my hope secures.

He will my shield and PORTION be whatever we edure."

(I took liberties with the ending ;0)

31 For who is God besides the LORD ?

And who is the Rock except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;

he enables me to stand on the heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle;

my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35 You give me your shield of victory,

and your right hand sustains me;

you stoop down to make me great.

36 You broaden the path beneath me,

so that my ankles do not turn.

We pray that God will continue to BROADEN our path,

all the way to Ethiopia and our Micah David!!!!!!

1 Night Until Court

2009-03-30T19:33:00.000-04:00

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you."
Matthew 7:7

It's amazing how far we have come in this adoption process. So many days and nights of waiting have all been leading to this one date, April 1st.

We are one night away from our third, and hopefully final, court appearance. While we were nervous and stressed the other 2 times we went to court, this house is at complete ease this third time. We have come to accept that God's will is best, even though it can be painful.

Micah is in God's hands and we don't want to take him out of those capable hands despite our immense love for him. We know he is right where he needs to be!

Please continue to pray for his release to his forever family.

We ask because God loves orphans,
We ask because we love Micah,

We ask because we were loved first.

3 Days To Court- Faith and Fear

2009-03-29T18:29:00.000-04:00

We've had serious deja vous in this house for the past week. The pressure is mounting, the thoughts carried away from the now to Wednesday, the daydreams have begun. The court dance is in full swing. Will we pass? What will it feel like to finally have good news, to finally be able to introduce you to our son? What will happen if something goes wrong, again?

The questions are endless and exasperating. Today we awoke with a strong feeling of peace and excitement.

NOW IS THE TIME. Now is the time for courage, now is the time for faith, now is the time for fear.

Yes, fear. The RIGHT kind of fear can serve you well in hard times, a lesson we have learned in the past few months.

"I am a God who is near. I am also a God who is far away," declares the LORD. Jeremiah 23:23

We serve a MIGHTY God who is able to do all things, more than we can ask or imagine. He is HUGE, He is EVERYWHERE, He knows EVERYTHING. This is scary and brings us to our knees.

He is a God to be feared. And that fear is liberating, inspiring, and comforting.

Today we are comforted by our fear, good fear, righteous fear. Because we fear our God, we do not fear Tuesday. You see, our great and mighty God is FOR US. He is working on our behalf, purposing good and kindness in ways we can only dream of. How great is that!

Once you fear your Lord, and know that He is on your side in all of his awesomeness and might, what else is there?

What a relief!

4 Days to Court-----PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!

2009-03-28T13:33:00.000-04:00

We're 4 days from our third court appearance, and hopefully our last! The nerves and jitters have set in but we are believing in FAITH that April 1st will be the day we can introduce you to our son Micah. What a long and painful journey this has been! We pray that this week is full of JOY, JOY, JOY!

We've had a hard time praying lately for our adoption as, well, we've said it all over the past 6 months. There's not much we can say that our God hasn't heard from our lips over and over again. So, we're keeping it simple.

Here's our prayer:

Father, you know our hearts. We have walked this journey to Micah for 6 months with you and we've come to a place of peace. Please fulfill your plans for our son. Release him into our hands on Wednesday that he might come and join this family forever. We long to have him with us, finally, to have our hearts complete. May April 1st be the day that we can call him ours.

May you receive all the praise and glory.

Amen

6 Month Referralversary..Record Breakers

2009-03-26T17:38:00.000-04:00

We received our referral for Micah 6 months ago.

It's official, we've set the record for longest time between referral and passing court/travel.

No medals, please.

No reminders of this record necessary, it's seared into our hearts.

What we have: hundreds of pictures, countless updates from our agency, 1 updated homestudy, 1 updated 797-C, 2 unsuccessful court dates, 1 looming court date that could be successful or unsuccessful, hundreds of people praying, newborn clothing that needs a good home, matching Christmas, Valentines, Easter shirts that will go unworn, an empty crib, an empty bouncy seat, empty arms, bad sinus infections, double ear infections, broken washer, toilet, doors, hearts, a God who promises good if we follow Him, no idea where we're going...

What we don't have...Micah.

We believe the Lord is on our side and that we will be victorious, someday...Hopefully April 1st.

Happy 4 Year Metchaversary!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-19T20:14:00.001-04:00

4 years ago today we walked into a hospital as a couple, but emerged, 4 hours later,

love sick parents.

The desire of our hearts had been granted in the form of a

7 pound 9 ounce little angel who only had one name,

ISAIAH.

Devon Michael Isaiah,

you have always been our joy-boy, our heart song,

God's love and redemption for our family on this earth.

Thank you for your sweetness, your energy, your empathy, your light.

You are forever our sunshine.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-18T09:36:00.001-04:00

++D++

Crasher, Basher, Dasher

Joy-Boy

Buddha Belly

Running, jumping, sliding

SING SING SING

Irresistable Smile

Big Heart

Infectious Laugh

Pixar Junkie

"God Loves Me!!!"

Dev,

You are our Heart, our Joy, our GIFT!

Will you ever know how loved you are?

Our love for you takes our breath away.

You are our oldest, our first, our passion, our dream,

GOD'S PICTURE OF REDEMPTION

4 years ago today your birth mother gave you life and,

without knowing it, breathed life into our family and hearts forever.

Thank you A, for this amazing gift of JOY and LOVE.

You are forever in our hearts.

You are our HERO.

PRAY FOR ISAIAH JOSIAH AND LYDIA

2009-03-13T09:21:00.000-04:00

Meet Isaiah, Josiah, and Lydia. They need YOU!!

Isaiah Semlow is such a sweet and happy child. In EVERY picture he is grinning from ear to hear with infectious joy. He loves to wave his hand right in front of his face to show his excitement at having his picture taken. He can often be found in Micah David's pictures, playing with him and loving on him. His heart is SO BIG!!

Josiah Semlow has the most beautiful hair and lips at the transitional home. He's expressive and you can always tell how he's feeling. He's a big boy, almost as big as his older brother, and loves to be thrown in the air. He's also known to be a little curious around the AWAA office at the TH, getting into the office supplies and generally being a curious George!

Lydia Semlow is the most STUNNING, dark, doe-eyed baby girl I've ever seen. My heart swells with love for her as I type. She has a sweet little belly (that I can't wait to rub) and deep eyes that hold so much struggle and yet so much HOPE. She loves girlie things and kisses!

THESE ARE GOD'S CHILDREN loved and adored by a family waiting for them in Illinois. THEY ARE STUCK in a paperwork prison, waiting on ONE SIGNATURE so that they may be released to their forever family.

They are REAL, they are LOVED, they are ORPHANS who, because of a cruel world, are being held captive in Ethiopia.

THEY ARE NOT A STORY, THEY ARE BELOVED CHILDREN WHOM I HAVE SEEN AND HEARD AND LOVE.

They need your prayers. Please, wherever you are, pray for God to release these sweet babies to their forever family. They need YOU, we need YOU to pray for their salvation.

Isaiah, Josiah, and Lydia- Aunt Kim LOVES YOU so much. You're faces bring our family such joy and hope. God has wonderful plans for you and I feel so blessed to be a part of your journey to family. You are loved, you are miracles, you are blessed. Can you hear your loving Father singing over you? Can you hear your Mommy's cries for you? Oh children, that you would understand the depth and breadth and height of the love your family and Father have for you!!!!! One day, when the sorrow and pain of your life in Africa is melting away, Mommy and I will tell you of our love for you, of this hard and sorrowful journey to you, and of how we would DO IT ALL AGAIN just to watch you sleep in your beds and hear your soft, sweet breath at REST.

New Court Date

2009-03-10T11:12:00.000-04:00

We have a new court date of April 1st. We certainly wish it was sooner but know that God has it all worked out. We are very weary from this wait and are glad to finally have a possible end in sight (again ;0).

Perhaps the third time is the charm. You know what to do...

PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!

Prayers

2009-03-09T08:22:00.000-04:00

From Psalm 44

23 Awake, O Lord! Why do you sleep?

Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever.
24 Why do you hide your face,

and forget our misery and oppression?
25 We are brought down to the dust;

our bodies cling to the ground.

26 Rise up and help us;

REDEEM us because of your unfailing love.

Broken...

2009-03-06T12:03:00.000-05:00

This is sheer MADDNESS.

The judge did not come to work today.

She will not be in on Monday either.

We have no idea when or how or why.

We aren't even sure he is ever going to come home.

Everyone else gets good news.

The other babies get to come home.

Broken doesn't even begin to describe how we feel.

It's the only word I can come up with.

BROKEN.BROKEN.BROKEN.BROKEN.

We have to choose faith.

Faith is so hard.

FAITH. FAITH. FAITH. FAITH

An Undefeated Life

2009-03-06T08:38:00.000-05:00

"Every Christian must experience the essence of the incarnation by bringing the next step down into flesh-and-blood reality and by working it out with his hands. We lose interest and give up when we have no vision, no encouragement, and no improvement, but only experience our everyday life with its trivial tasks.

The thing that really testifies for God and for the people of God in the long run is steady perseverance, even when the work cannot be seen by others. And the only way to live an undefeated life is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to discourage you."

From "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers

No matter what may come, our attitude is one of VICTORY for we are walking a purposeful path.

Are you living an undefeated life?

Tomorrow...The Waiting Dance

2009-03-05T17:14:00.001-05:00

Duni was again unable to meet with the judge today to discuss Micah's case and assign a court date. This is getting REALLY OLD and trying to maintain an attitude of thankfulness has become a seemingly impossible feat.

So we do the waiting dance, again. What are the steps?

Weariness...shake-shake...grumbling...shake-shake...hope...shake-shake...fear...shake-shake...WORD...shake-shake...resignation...shake-shake...waiting...shake-shake...weariness...

You get the point...shake-shake.

PRAY FOR TOMORROW

2009-03-04T19:27:00.000-05:00

Today the judge asked Duni to return tomorrow to discuss our case and assign a court date. The agency believes that TOMORROW will be the day.

Please continue praying that our God would BURDEN the judge's heart for Micah David, that she would see his sweet face in her dreams, that she would release him as soon as humanly possible into the loving arms of the parents who have longed for him for over 2 years.

"6 You will surely forget your trouble,
recalling it only as waters gone by.

17 Life will be brighter than noonday,
and darkness will become like morning.

18 You will be secure, because there is hope;
you will look about you and take your rest in safety."

We long for rest, for brightness, for this affliction to be as waters gone by...and for our sweet, sweet Micah David.

A Few More Days

2009-03-03T10:42:00.000-05:00

This is our update from the Director of the Program.

"Just wanted to touch base to let you know that everything went great today submitting your documents to court. They have not issued a court date yet for your family. Duni will be speaking with the judge tomorrow, but it may still be another two to three days or so before we know the official date.

I will call you as soon as I hear. Duni wanted me to share with you that she will literally get on her knees in front of the judge, if she needs to, to plead for the earliest date possible for your family. We are doing all we can. Hang in there, we are praying for your family."

Micah's paperwork is in a judge's hands. PRAY HARD THAT SHE WILL DEAL GRACIOUSLY!!!

"Concerning things to come, do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hand? IT IS I WHO MADE THE EARTH, AND CREATED MANKIND UPON IT." Isaiah 45

We are CHOOSING JOY from this moment on. We are praising God today that our paperwork is in the judges hands and that He is working with His hands.

Today's The Day

2009-03-03T08:14:00.000-05:00

Last night I prayed this prayer for Micah's court appointment and Jadyn Sapp's final court date.

Father,
These are YOUR children. You are the Father of the fatherless. Your mighty right hand has saved your people from slavery, led them in the wilderness, rebuked, comforted, saved, and was finally nailed to cross for us all.

USE YOUR HANDS to melt and mold and pierce the heart of the judge tomorrow for YOUR CHILDREN. We have laid them on the altar of your grace and mercy time and time again, and time and time again we have been rebuffed. 3 times now, as Moses before Pharaoh, we have requested that they be released. Now is the time to ACT, to work with your mighty right hand and release our children. We do not ask this from our own righteousness but because of your grace and mercy, because your son loves us and told us to ask.

I don't know why we have been chosen to carry these children, to walk this road of burden and affliction, or even why you love us but you have been faithful throughout. Prove yourself faithful evermore tomorrow by saving our children by your mighty right hand. It is YOU who have saves. It is YOU who redeems. REDEEM! It is YOU who deserve the glory and honor for the lives of your chosen ones. To you alone be all honor and glory and praise.

Father, I admit that I am so weary and my flesh wants to give up. I don't think I can take one more day of separation from my son. I don't think I can take one more closed door, one more piece of bad news, one more worldly problem holding me back from the son of my heart. How many times have I cried out to you only to hear silence? I have remembered you of OLD as you command but need you in the PRESENT TODAY.

I don't understand why your justice has taken so long for these children. I don't understand why equity has not applied to them until now, why they have been set apart and dealt so harshly with by this world. But you do. You are a God of justice, righteousness, and equity. Deal EQUITABLY with our children tomorrow. Show your justice to all through Jadyn and Micah.

I confess that I fear tomorrow. I fear the decisions of man. I fear bad news and heartache and time. I know I am not alone in this. Cover our fears with your right hand and hide us in the cleft of YOU as YOU are our rock eternal.

I will bless your name this day, Father, as I have no other choice. There is no where else to turn, nothing else to say, no Word yet to read. This is my purpose and I will walk it. Just give me the grace for each step.

Amen."

Today, I am tired in so many ways. I have nothing left to offer as I have laid my life and the life of my son on the altar. I have nothing left to pray as I have said it all.

The only words I have left are DEAL GRACIOUSLY.

Prayer of the Heartbroken

2009-03-02T16:49:00.001-05:00

Father,
We don't understand this journey and we can't see what you are doing. In this darkness we are consumed with sadness and fear. In this darkness we feel all alone.

In this darkness when we can't see with your eyes, we will trust in your hands.

We trust your hands to squeeze the hearts that need squeezing, to mold the hearts that need molding, to move the mountains that need moving, to bind the souls that need binding, to release the children we so desperately need released.

Father, squeeze, mold, push, move, bind, ACT with your might hands.

And, when you're done, please put our hearts gently back together as they have broken once again for your children.

Amen

Paperwork is COMPLETE!!!!!

2009-02-26T16:24:00.001-05:00

Micah's paperwork was completed today! We officially have his referral, again ;0) We should hear about a court date next week. Our wonderful, amazing representative, Duni, is going to have it in her hands tomorrow but will not be able to submit it on Monday as it is a national holiday.

So, TUESDAY IT IS!!!! Please be in prayer that the judge would be moved to give us a VERY favorable court date on Tuesday. As of now the court is hearing appeals and we are hopeful that our court date will be 2 weeks from application (around the middle of March). SO EXCITING!!!!!!!!!

Also, our beloved Semlow's are still waiting for ONE STINKING PIECE of paperwork. Please pray HARD that that is completed by tomorrow so that Duni can petition for all of our children at one time.

Tut, tut, it looks like potato rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Micah is a CHUNKSTER- No News Yet

2009-02-25T15:42:00.000-05:00

So, we received an update on Micah Moo yesterday but still have not heard regarding the LAST piece of paperwork needed to secure a court date. We are at COMPLETE peace, however, as the fact that Micah is coming him is enough.

The good news is that Micah is all Rollie-Pollie goodness! He's in the 10% for weight/height, which is AWESOME for a baby that was starving to death 6 months ago. He's got a belly that would rival any Buddha statue and is sitting up on his own, grasping toys, flapping his arms, and eating solid food. I can't even begin to tell you how sweet he looks now that he has two little teeth and his hair is even. We are SO IN LOVE with that little guy!

We're really hoping to have great news to share about our little miracle by the end of the week.